


Conflicting Reality

by Joxhaus



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Doki Doki Literature Club! References, Doki Doki Literature Club! Spoilers, F/M, References to Depression, Romance, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2019-11-07 16:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17963945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joxhaus/pseuds/Joxhaus
Summary: ONLY READ IF YOU COMPLETED THE GAME! Full body simulations of video games are the biggest trends today with virtual reality. I have received a new commission today regarding a game I haven't been a part of for years. Doki Doki Literature Club has found a way back into my heart it seems. Will I find love or happiness again? My Nobody thinks otherwise... regardless... I'm going to take this chance...





	1. Simulating Something New

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Hello there Doki fans! This is a fanfiction for Doki Doki Literature Club! Just as a fair warning, I would HIGHLY prefer you COMPLETE the game itself, before reading this story. Now with that out of the way I must make a few things clear. This will NOT be considered a crossover work with Kingdom Hearts, because 1. there are only a few references/concepts regarding Kingdom Hearts and 2. even though an additional original character in this story that is considered a "Nobody" there will not be enough reference material in this story to make the work a "crossover". I thought about this for several weeks and have decided against it, since this story is about my own personal experiences in my life, as well as with the game Doki Doki Literature Club. P.S. This is one of my few video game fanfictions and it's the first one that I am opening up to the community. I don't expect this to be perfect but I do hope you enjoy~

The year is 20XX, I'm constantly messing around with our updating digital technology, code and simulations. My name is Joshua. Well, I personally go by Josh but that doesn't really matter too much. I am a SUPER video gaming nerd even though I'm only 24 years old, I love messing around with technology but I am perfectly content and I'm living in a society where we can now afford whole body simulations without too much hassle. I've been an only child all my life, I worked several jobs and now I make commission off of my digital artwork, storytelling scripts, animations, occasional video work and virtual simulation tests. And on top of that since my father is a chairman for a huge growing company I have a few stocks under my name, so financially, I'm doing pretty good for myself for a young adult who lives alone.

Anyway where was I? Oh yes, I was asked by an unnamed commission to test a full simulation based off of a game that was released late 2017. A visual novel based on romantic dating simulation... that turns into a psychological horror; Doki Doki Literature Club! I remember this this game when I was 18 and honestly I was an instant fan. Although, the game did trigger my depression and gave me conflicting thoughts on living my life. The concept of the game was impressive, having an A.I. become more in such a basic game and having some sense of sentience by controlling what happens in the game script. I feel like this whoever made this simulation probably wants to see if their work would be effective at toying with our heartstrings... if I recall there has been an extremely diverse fanbase for this game. Doki Doki Literature Club!... this game though... it made me feel things I really didn't want to go through again. Well, I guess that's not entirely true, I've basically had depression even before high school but now is not the time to stay hung up on past pains.

When this was sent to me, I started working on the simulation from my laptop. I was more or less checking to see how big the simulation would be, how much information my system will have to process in long term. I only sigh when looking over the boring bits, files, coding and other things listed in the game and simulation files.

Josh: "Well, nothing surprising so far... I am kind of curious to know what it will be like..."

Honestly, I shouldn't care too much about details, but considering the amount I would be getting paid for just testing this, I am perfectly fine with taking all the time I need. "Okay, the code doesn't seem too bad so I'll try out the simulation tomorrow. I'll be sure to use my studio computer to run this." I looked at the clock at the corner of my screen. It was 2:33 A.M. And I always had a bad habit with staying up late with doing busy work or gaming. "For fuck's sake.. I need to stop working so late.. I'll never be able to wake up early if I keep this up.." I yawn, and partially not really caring about my own statement. I never manage to wake up early on my own accord. I usually have to have 3 or 4 alarms to go off before I could even get up out of bed. I mean I could do a little better of going to bed earlier but it's whatever. I finally get changed into my normal clothes for bed and I decide to try and sleep.

As I start to doze off I start to get lost in my thoughts. Every time I fall asleep and dream, I always have conversations with... myself... well I guess I shouldn't say that. For the longest time, I believed I have another half of me. A part of me that doesn't normally exist in the real world. Since I grew up in a house full of negativity, bickering parents, a hot-tempered father, and with the mixture of my own emotions and depression; all of this created a side of me that is nothing but my negativity. All of my darkness, pain and depression created my "Nobody". He only exists in my mind, and my dreams. I sometimes just tried to play it off as me being a Gemini thing, but I knew that that wasn't the case. He was way too philosophical, depressing and he always sounded so bored. Maybe even sarcastic at times? Honestly, it's hard to tell. Ever since I knew his existence his name to me was "Joxhaus". He used to give me moments of self-doubt or self-hate but after the last several years we tolerate each other and we talk a lot about life, my life from a day to day basis and he sometimes shares his thoughts while trying to keep our outlook on life as positive as possible. I know he doesn't have any real emotions because he is manifestation on my negativity but he's still me in the end. Sometimes, I question if I'm crazy because of this but whatever, I just have to embrace my weirdness... even if I do talk to "myself".

Joxhaus: " _Welcome back... new commission?_ "

Josh: "Yeah... kinda looking forward to it."

Joxhaus: " _I've noticed... I'm not sure how I feel about that though._ "

Josh: "...You don't have any feelings though..?"

My Nobody sighs and shakes his head at me and folding his arms in the dark void of my dreams. " _That's not what I meant... Just don't get your hopes up with this simulation. We have been broken and alone for far too long. And remember when we played Doki Doki Literature Club the first time? We couldn't get those heavy feelings out of this mind for months, we sank further into depression, became obsessive and even pushed people away even more so than we normally would. On top of that I almost went crazy from those negative thoughts... And worst of all having the realization of knowing that she would never be-_ "

Josh: "I know! ...let's not dwell on that anymore. We've grown past it, even if it took a lot of extra time and maybe a little bit of medication and self-control to get through it... I think I can handle this just fine. We should at least try to enjoy it and if anything, you can keep my mind on track."

I had to cut off my negative train of thoughts or I would probably just feel miserable when I wake up in the morning. My nobody sighs, slowly rubbing his temples with his fingers. He looks back into my eyes with a cold and empty stare.

Joxhaus: " _Very well then. I will do what I can to keep our mind focused for the task at hand tomorrow. And... well... sorry for trying to ruin the evening with degrading thoughts. Let's just try to get some sleep, I'll be damned if we have bags under our eyes from sleep deprivation before trying out this simulation._ "

Josh: "It's fine... and yes, it's time to pass the fuck out." Personally, I don't know if he's actually sorry, but I know he's "me" so saying "sorry" is typical of me. We normally have small talks in my dreams, since I've lived such a lonely life it's almost impressive how I've stayed sane for this long.

The dream world around me starts to fade into darkness as we both walk our separate ways and time continues to pass on forward. For a time, I felt myself sleeping for a good amount of time before my alarm clock on my phone blares from my nightstand. It's always humorous to have "Kyle's Mom's a bitch" song from the South Park Movie as my best alarm. Granted as soon as I wake up at ANY time of the morning I'm groaning trying to get up (I was never a morning person). I force myself to get up, shower and prepare for the day like I normally would; getting a good change of clothes on, eat a bit for breakfast and start logging onto my computers. I use a fairly decent laptop to document my testing notes as well as prepping projects I've worked on in the past and I also have to start up my main computer that will be running the simulation. I can't help but yawn from my morning struggles but I prepare to warm up the simulation.

Josh: "Well I suppose we should get started with this. Everything seems to be in order."

I put on all the necessary virtual reality equipment, and laid down to relax. As soon as I got comfortable, my consciousness became transported into the simulation and from there I started a new and unusual chapter of my life. I was briefly welcomed by the silence of the dark void of virtual reality and only the low humming of the simulated world loading the reality, rang in my ears. This was fairly normal for most simulations, slow to start but usually very satisfying in long term.

The first thing I saw before the simulation started was a... a waiver?

Josh: "hmmm... 'By agreeing to XXXXXXXX's terms, you will be a willing participant in this simulation's realistic visuals, personal interactions, conflicts and...' blah, blah, blah, anything actually worth noting? hmmm...'If you suffer from any anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts you may not have a safe experience with this simulation and by agreeing to the XXXXXXXX's terms you are acknowledging these warnings.' huh, Deja vu back when Doki Doki Literature Club! did the same thing... guess we still have the same old dark and controversial topics." I say to myself and continue to gloss over the remainder of the waiver.

I pressed agree and inserted my electronic signature; and as the prompt left, the world lit up in mere seconds. I was sitting in a Japanese style home, second floor, appeared to be my room I suppose? The style looks familiar to Doki Doki Literature Club's protagonist's original room... There are a few subtle differences but nothing super unusual worth noting yet. Like most simulations to date, this one feels just as real with a distinct attention to detail. The carpet feels genuine as well as the cloth on the bed. The sun shining through the window feels warm, bright, everything feels real. A lot of different game coding programs and engines like Python and UnReal mixed with the latest virtual simulation technology now days. The big trend today is more in-depth virtual reality. Kind of reminds me of the higher end of Unity, or at least in their most recent years.

Josh: "I suppose there's one thing I should check... I'm kind of curious."

I make my way out of the bedroom into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, I'm kind of shocked. I saw myself... looking younger. It's funny how accurate this simulation is trying to be. I look like I reverted to my 18 year old self. My REAL self being 24, my hair is a bit thicker and I grew out a short but noticeable beard. Now, back to my teenage self, I look like I have a baby-face... But I still managed to get away with having a soul-patch, even though I was in a strict Catholic High School. Seeing myself like this I still remember hearing my family members calling me "handsome". Mostly my mom and aunts telling me that and I never believed I was "handsome" believe it or not.

I take a closer look at my eyes. Yep, same old eyes; One blue and one mutated eye with blue and brown, pigmentation. I like it when these carefully made simulations pick up on detail. I smirk at myself and laugh.

Josh "Heh... sheesh, I was such a skinny weirdo in high school... well, I should go see everything else in this world if it's possible."

I leave the bathroom and head downstairs. If I remember correctly from DDLC, the protagonist was a typical Japanese anime high schooler. No parents living in the house and lived next to his best friend Sayori. I take a quick little look around the home and see a few pictures of "me" with Sayori and some with my supposed "parents". That is rather odd that this simulation can create very... accurate assumptions of what I looked like as a kid with younger Sayori in these pictures. I guess the developers were trying to make an appropriate atmosphere by using pictures of me? That's a bit... creepy but I can understand the reasoning behind it. I always envy these anime stereotypical teenagers. Being able to live alone pretty much without having to deal with family. Must be nice. I reach out and look into the fridge and surprisingly there's food! In today's simulations they literally have real life everything. Even food, environments, animals, people, weapons, you name it. Simulation developers all around the world have been able to utilize all the human senses, even in virtual reality now.

As I close the fridge I look at my left arm, I notice a scar that I still have on forearm. I broke my arm my first year of college because I practiced martial arts... funny story, I broke it on my black belt test, but jokes and stories aside it's unusual of all the details the simulation made about my body I still have this scar? Oh well, whatever, you can't expect perfection for everything. My trance in reminiscing on my life events is suddenly broken by a knock at the front door... If I remember Doki Doki Literature Club! correctly no one should be knocking on my door... right? I move towards the door and think for a moment.

Joxhaus: " _Are you serious right now? Remember this simulation is based on more realistic variation on DDLC. I'm going to assume Sayori is probably waiting on you._ "

Josh: "Oh shit! I... I forgot that was the case, but hell I didn't know... I wasn't sure how close to real this was going to get. I guess I spent too much time taking in the scenery...

Joxhaus: " _This place runs in real-time just like everything else anymore, so try not to get too carried away with details._ "

Josh: "Right... well let's get this started then!"

Joxhaus: " _You are getting way too excited for this..._ " I hear a sigh in the back of my mind and the conversation ends abruptly.

I opened the door to see a short haired girl standing in front of me, wearing a red bow in her hair. She had beautiful blue eyes and the happiest smile you could ever see in a young woman. She was twirling around in her school uniform, still unbuttoned and unkempt as always. Yep, that's Sayori, the first person you meet in Doki Doki Literature Club! and my supposed best friend. She's a lot cuter than I imagined, even in person.

However, under than cute little ball of sunshine exterior, she's actually hurting from severe depression. Kind of hard to tell currently, but I do wonder if the developers kept her personality like that... God, I hope not. I would hate to see someone like her in pain from something like depression. Or in pain in general... she's just too innocent and sweet as a person. She breaks my train of thought by starting the conversation in her normal fashion and I'm actually intrigued by her soft, yet energetic voice.

Sayori: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!"

Josh: "Good Morning, Sayori."

Sayori: "Aren't you awake yet? Like, seriously! You're usually never this late getting out to school."

I give her a warm-hearted smile and try to joke off the situation. "Yeah, yeah, you beat me for once, maybe I won't let you win the next time. But if you're any louder we might have neighbors calling the police on us for local noise complaints."

Sayori gives me her usual pouting face while poking her two index fingers together. Typical Sayori. "Hey now Josh, that's mean! I was only teasing you... but are you ready to get to school though? If we don't get moving soon, we'll be late."

Josh: "And I was only teasing you too Sayori. Let's get to school before we end up late."

Sayori: "YAY! Let's get a move on!"

Personally, I only played off the situation normally, but I was a bit shocked Sayori called me by my real name. But I also noticed there was no option to insert a name... perhaps it's based off of my computer's name? (Which is literally my real/account's name.) So, this is probably going to get weird really quick.

With that aside, today marks the day I sold my soul to a simulation based on Doki Doki Literature Club!

* * *

_Next chapter: This is New_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to preface one thing as the first chapter closes out. I do have two OC's that are initially the same person. And yes the second OC is a Kingdom Hearts reference/inspired character.
> 
> I initially wanted to play this story with the idea that there is conflicting viewpoints, especially within one person. The idea behind Josh and Joxhaus specifically in this story has concepts from Left brain (logic and ideals) vs. Right brain (emotional and creative). Every person has a conscious... a lighter half and a darker half of themselves. I think it's pretty obvious which is which in this story. (Hopefully it is) But I hope you all enjoy this series later down the road. (I have completed 7 chapters so far and have posted them on another site so all of these chapters might be uploaded on the same day... or every day I find spare time.) But hey, thanks for reading. :)
> 
> -Joxhaus (Author)


	2. This is New

* * *

 

" _Can we live a real life? I think not._

_In the end, life continues to be worthless, a string of nothingness._

_A lifeline that leaves just as easily as it's created._

_Will we ascend or disappear into the depths of the lifestream?_

_We are told that we are special, and our existence in life won't be forgotten._

_Truth in full is, that is a lie._

_We aren't special, we are just as replaceable as most of our common resources._

_The truth is bitter and cold._

_We should make the most of our precious time, but we can't even do that._

_We're forced to suffer, to live._

_Work all your life just so you can die._

_What impact would anyone leave on this forgetful world once they die?_

_To me, it all seems like a waste. If you can't live life to the fullest and find life happiness._

_Then life... isn't worth living..._

_Call me crazy if you want, insane even._

_My realization brings me one step closer to the end of this sad story called life._

_My 'real' heart stays broken, hallow and black. Hardened but brittle like glass._

_Easily breakable, impossible to fix._

_Even in the end, I know I will be alone forever._

_In the living world, and in a time, six feet under."_

-Joxhaus

* * *

I will be perfectly honest... I have never visited Japan, so I am not very accustomed to how a "normal" school day works in this kind of reality. I kept walking with Sayori down the long walk to the school grounds; it feels like we've been walking for several minutes and we have passed several connecting streets and neighborhoods. I notice other students wearing similar uniforms starting to convene on the same path as us. Similar to how the game described it, but it is a little odd that some students have faces and others don't. Maybe it's just from my perspective, or how far away I am from those other NPC's. I decide not to think too much about it, but Sayori bumps into my shoulder to try and snap me back to reality.

Sayori: "Hey... Are you feeling okay? You seem kind of out of it today. You're worrying me a bit."

Josh: "hmm..? Oh, it's nothing Sayori don't worry. I'm just a bit tired today. You know I'm not really a morning person either, right?"

She gives me this weird, bewildered look, but changes it into a smile, "You are normally up before me anyway, even if you are a bum getting up in the morning most days. You still tend to beat me getting outside!"

I only laugh at her weird logic and lightly bump into her shoulder as well, "Well look who's talking! Ms. 'I'm always late getting up for school in the morning but I can magically beat Josh today'."

At this point we're just laughing at each other. Just two weirdos, practically being the best of friends. To me, it was a weird feeling. It feels like I've known her so well even though she's just a character subjected to this game; to this simulation. We just continue to chit chat like we've known each other forever but for some reason a part of me can only just feel sad... knowing what this poor girl has had to go. Dealing with some extreme depression, up into the point of suicide... Just thinking about her past already made my mood shift a bit, my smile slowly faded a bit but I quickly tried to keep thinking positive. However, before I could revert my state of mind back to positive thoughts, another conversation was initiated in my head.

Joxhaus: " _Please don't do this to me right now. Heart ache on you is one thing but reminding us of her pain is something I don't want to think about right now."_

Josh: "Look I know, we care about Sayori and I'm not going to let anything bad happen this time. Besides... looking back I believe her extreme depression and suicide wasn't avoidable but it wasn't her choice-"

Joxhaus: "- _it was Monika's doing. Out of jealousy... Everyone had their own issues and you're right, Sayori being depressed is something we couldn't change, just like our own depression... Monika might turn this simulation into a nightmare like she did in the previous game; twisting the others to her will out of that jealousy."_

Josh: "...but I can't blame her for being lonely in a world she knows isn't real...A world where she's forced to watch from the distance without having any true interactions with someone real. She didn't want to hurt her friends I know that for a fact... And if this is truly different from the game maybe our outcome will be different... I imagine she will be watching us... I wonder if she still remembers me."

Joxhaus: " _I'm doubtful, this isn't the same game we played those years ago. Maybe similar yes but this is a simulated world. It will function like a game based on actions we make, but if this was created to be like a real experience based on the game we will need to be cautious. On top of that, she never knew who we were as a person... she may have gotten lucky knowing your name based on your computer's account name but that was about it. We shouldn't get any more hopeful than that..."_

Josh: "Yeah... let's... just get through the day then shall we...?"

Joxhaus: " _… I know you still love her..._ "

Josh: "…"

Joxhaus: " _Just stay focused with the task at hand... and **don't**  indulge yourself until we understand this simulation a bit better... even though this is a simulation we still don't know the rules here. Keep that in mind..._"

The conversation ends on a sour note. Leave it to my Nobody to ruin the mood. For the moment that it lasted I'm back to my senses still walking with Sayori and she's waving her hand in front of my face to see if I'm actually okay or not. My eyes glance over to hers once I finally catch on to what she's doing.

Josh: "A-ah.. S-sorry about that Sayori, my mind was wandering for a little bit."

Sayori: "Wow, what is with you today? You need to stop staying up late watching all that anime. You literally zoned out there for a good minute. I'm impressed! Hehe~ you're almost as bad as me sometimes." She started giggling and retracts her hand away from my face.

Josh: "Oh really now?"

I wrap my arm around Sayori's shoulder and holding her a little closer to me and shaking her lightly, "Well, I learned how to zone out from the best~" I laughed and smiled seeing Sayori's reaction. She blushed lightly and darting her eyes away but still giggling. I know she's enjoying herself.

Sayori: "H-hey! That's mean! I don't zone out that badly... do I?"

Josh: "Nah.. It's never  **that**  bad. Besides, you're just being you. I couldn't ask for anything better."

I give her a pat on the back and then a pat on the head. As we approach the school building Sayori stops me.

Sayori: "Hey Josh, I forgot to ask on the way here but have you thought about what clubs you wanted to join this year?"

Oh boy, here we go... Do I go for the typical answer or try something new? Honestly, since I have my own free will, I'll just say how I felt; or in this case how my high school self felt.

Josh: "Well... I'm not sure to be honest. I thought about joining some but at the same time I just don't see the motivation to stay with them."

Sayori oddly pokes my forehead, clearly disappointed in my answer and pouting, "Come on, Josh... you told me you'd be more proactive this year and at least try to join a club for once..."

I really wanted to laugh at this, because I literally just started this simulation not too long ago so... how would I have any memory of said conversation? However, what she just said to me... sounded, so familiar. It's weird, I know for a fact our current conversations were just simulated or was it...? but.. Why was her word choice giving me déjà vu? I think I remember... a conversation I had with my mom a long time ago... it literally was the exact same sentence. If I remember correctly it was a conversation I had with my mom while I was attending high school... she had asked me to be proactive and try to find clubs that I would like. I think she worried about me being too anti-social.

So, is it just me..? Or was my memory being connected to this reality in some way? I feel like that might be a stretch to my own imagination, but if that really is the case then... well this simulation will certainly, get more interesting. I suppose that explains why I see younger versions of myself at the simulated home. Why my current physical appearance is literally my high school self when I was 18 years old. It's kind of interesting now that I think about it... but again also very creepy to know technology is using personal info against me. I sigh and give a half-hearted smile to Sayori and joke to her about my next answer.

Josh: "I'll try to look at some after school alright? ...maybe I'll try the anime club or the art club?"

Sayori: "...Do you promise me you'll try?"

The school bell rings across the campus and echoes for a moment. I give Sayori a positive smile, raising my hand up to her with my pinkie finger out. "I pinkie promise." I know it's kind of a childish thing to do at a time like this, but I saw a light spark in her eyes the moment I did it. She reached out and wrapped my pinkie along with hers and giggled. She looked like the happiest girl in the world and that smile alone made this morning that much better. We release pinkies and she starts to trot off into the building waving to me as she heads to class and I walk into the building slowly myself.

Sayori: "I'll cya later, okay? Don't get into any trouble!"

I reluctantly wave back and smile, shouting back at her, "Same to you~" I sigh as she disappears into the crowd of students moving through the building.

After that, I notice a little text box in the corner of my vision, running a command code followed by some text, telling me what classrooms I should go to for the day. Surprisingly, enough I also see glowing lines on the ground directing me towards my supposed destination. I make my way through the building still seeing quite a few students roaming around the halls. It's still a bit unsettling to see that some NPC's have more distinguishable faces than others but I don't let it bother me for the most part. As I continue to follow my path I look around at the architecture of the school. Like I stated previously I have never been Japan, nor have I seen what their schools are like realistically. I had the assumption that they were very similar to how anime and anime-styled video games portrayed them with sliding doors and classrooms being labeled above the entryway. So far my assumptions were not too far from what I imagined, however this school building was much larger than I originally anticipated! Then again, the high school I went to in real life was abnormally small compared to most high schools. I walked up to the second floor and caught a glimpse of the morning sunrise before entering the classroom. I sighed for a moment to admire it; the sunrise here was beautiful. Sometimes, I can't help but forget that there are some beautiful things in life that should be appreciated more often, but that aside I enter the classroom and take a seat in the back of the room, closest to the window. As I start to get comfortable with my surroundings a little text box note appears in my sights; not too big to block my view but still noticeable. It was also translucent so I could still have proper vision to see the note as well as not interfering with my depth perception.

"We hope you're enjoying the Virtual Reality experience to the fullest! Our world here will still act normally as it would in real life but if you're unfamiliar with the culture or where you're supposed to be, our software can guide you throughout the world. We hope you continue to enjoy this VR experience! Also, for your safety we recommend taking a break every couple of hours per use. Thank you! -XXXXXXX"

Well isn't that neat? I guess it will certainly help from time to time when I'm traversing this world at my leisure. It is a little odd though; I see this Python style text box in the lower left-hand corner of my vision. It disappeared after I got seated into the classroom. It kind of reminds me of when Monika took over the script by using code to make changes in and out of the game, except it's for my own personal use now? When it first came up it started to automatically search for my required location. I guess after Sayori departed, I did wonder where she would be off to and where I would be going from there. Maybe that turned on the simulations navigation program? Maybe I can do more with this later on like Monika did? I may have to experiment with it later and see but for now I will be sure to take advantage of the navigation program. I managed to remember the code lines that the game used to find my first class location; they were short and simple run command codes. As I was thinking about this the bell rang, signalling the end of the first class. I decided that now would be the best time to test how this works.

Josh: "Okay... gotta go to the next class... Well, this shouldn't be too difficult... just gotta think about it, right?"

Thinking about the text, the text box in the corner reappears in my vision and the command code was entered into the text box with the simulation responding with "successful". I look forward to see way-points leading to my next destination and I continued to follow them throughout the school day.

Halfway through the classes we managed to hit lunch break. Since entering the cafeteria I took a seat at a table located in the corner of the room and I sigh to myself. I try out the virtual lunch and to my surprise it's really good. These meals were all freshly cooked and steamed like in professional restaurants, but I couldn't really get into enjoying lunch. I felt a really bad wave of loneliness hit me and I start remembering more about my life in high school. I faced similar days where I would just sit alone at a table eating lunch by myself because all my friends had different lunch schedules. This happened a couple semesters throughout my time in high school... which wasn't a big deal within itself, lunch time never really lasted that long but loneliness does hurt after being exposed to it for a long time. I just mull over my situation and finish eating my lunch. I idly wait at the table drinking a water and stare blankly at a wall, the sound of the school bell breaks my negative daze and I sigh in relief. I leave for the remaining few classes I have for the day.

A few hours pass and I managed to reach the end of the school day. My brain felt exhausted, I remember how boring high school was like. Classes where I did good, I normally took power naps in. Besides that, the simulation didn't really care what I did for the most part. I kind of just went with the flow of things. It felt even better not having to do anything. In the last class, I was so bored I basically started doodling in a drawing pad I found in the simulated house to pass the time. I make really good sketches when I actually put forth some thought and effort. I let this side passion of mine get the best of me as I focused more on my artwork to the point where I don't even hear the ending bell ring and by the time I finished I heard someone calling my name.

?: "Josh..?"

I look up shaking my head trying to make sure I'm paying attention this time and I look over at the doorway to see Sayori looking in.

Josh: "Oh, hey Sayori... What are you doing here?"

Sayori walks into the class and stands in front of my desk, "Well, school just ended so I was on my way to my club and I saw you sitting in here all by yourself, drawing away on a sketch pad it looks like?" She glances over at my sketch pad trying to interpret what I was making, "...It looks like a hand and forearm?"

Josh: "Yup, you're pretty much right. Just a surreal touch to it. Guess you could call it practice".

Sayori: "It looks weird, but really cool at the same time! You're so talented Josh!"

Josh: "Ahaha... umm thanks, I guess? I suppose I should get going then, I don't need to keep you from getting to your club."

I say that, but I already know how this conversation is going to go. I'm more or less just waiting on Sayori to say it at this point.

Sayori: "Awww, you can't go now! You should come visit my club if you don't have anything better to do~"

There it is. The invitation to the Literature Club... Well the least I can do is humor her a little bit, "Oh.. That's right you're the Vice President of... which club again?"

Sayori: "The Literature Club!"

She says it like it's the greatest thing in existence. Such enthusiasm is almost contagious... But that's what I like about Sayori the most. She can make anything sound awesome with that kind of enthusiasm. I kind of wanted to laugh about how she said it though, but I was still feeling dreary from my loneliness phase earlier in the day so my tone of voice was more half-joking and trying to be a little serious.

Josh: "Okay.. But it sounds so... dull? Are you sure I'm going to like it? It's literally the complete opposite of what I am... being an artist and all."

I mutter that last bit to myself, but like in the game Sayori persists, "It won't be dull I promise! Hehe... A-and besides I told the club I would be bringing in a new member today so one of our members... she made cupcakes and everything... hehe..." Sayori was giving me her awkward look again. I guess I'm starting to understand the main character's idea of Sayori being either a complete airhead or being excessively cunning to have planned it all out. I sigh for a moment and look back to her looking at her beautiful blue eyes.

Josh: "Alright Sayori, you win. I'll visit your club, okay?"

Sayori: "W-wait? Really? You mean it?"

Josh: "I mean if you don't want me to I can find another club to waste my time in... hehe... I'm just kidding, of course. I mean what's the worst that could happen?"

Sayori: "Aww! You're the best Josh! Let's get going~ I will lead the way!"

Well... What could go wrong? Monika going crazy and killing three simulated beautiful girls, killing me or breaking this reality? Well, a lot can happen really. So, let's not think about the "what ifs". I just start to pack away my things and follow Sayori upper floors of the school. My mind wanders for a moment as I follow her... I kind of wonder what things are going to be like now...? Will Natsuki and Yuri be the same like they were in the game? And what about Monika..? I continue to feel anxiety building up as we get closer to the club room and my breathing becomes a bit heavier. Sayori seems unaware of how I'm feeling, but I guess this would be exactly what happens in game. We reach the club room and Sayori swings open the door... Well here we go...

* * *

_Next Chapter: Fleeting Dream_


	3. Fleeting Dream

* * *

 

_"_ _You said we'd meet again, but when we did, we might not recognize each other... I think I understand._

_I see myself the way you remember me. And you see yourself the way I remember you._ "

-XIII: Roxas (Kingdom Hearts 2)

* * *

Sayori, full of energy swings open the door to the clubroom, "I'm baaaaaack! And I brought the new member!"

I give myself a hearty sigh and mutter behind her, "This sure, brings back memories... Hearing her like this before getting introduced to everyone is almost intimidating." I start to shudder behind her, feeling timid all of a sudden. I was certainly a super introvert growing up, and I remember I always excessively shy and timid around girls going through high school. Granted, I have grown up past that point in my life, but why am I feeling this anxious? I've learned to be more confident than this over the past several years; especially in smaller groups. This shouldn't be an issue! I try to pull off a confident façade even though I feel like my legs are trembling slightly as familiar faces from the Literature club start to greet me for the first time... in person.

?: "Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure to meet you... Sayori always says nice things about you, Josh."

I can already feel myself getting flustered. Yuri is the first one to greet me, just like in the game. She was about as tall as I figured she would be in person. She was maybe a few inches short of my own height and that long violet hair... sure was something you wouldn't normally see in our reality but it appeared a shade darker than what the visual novel portrayed. Her physical appearance was absolutely stunning and mature just like her mannerisms. When I first played the game, I found myself oddly attracted to Yuri (AND NO, not because of her body type). I had the biggest crush on her primarily because I was always interested in shy and timid girls. Most girls like that were usually raised well, polite and sweet at heart. They also usually shared similar passions the more you find out about them on a personal level. And Yuri was no different, granted having a knife collection to me isn't necessarily weird... I have a sword collection but you don't see anyone judging me anytime soon. Passions aside, seeing Yuri in person certainly raised my anxiety...

Josh: "I-It's a pleasure to meet you as well..."

?: "Seriously, Sayori? You brought a boy here? Way to kill the atmosphere."

Oh boy, here we go. Hot-headed Natsuki in person... I will admit she is definitely pretty cute, despite her petite size to everyone else. Her pink hair was probably more offsetting than Yuri's violet hair, yet oddly enough I felt like it suited her. I was personally never into tsundere type girls but Natsuki I think was an exception to my rule of thoughts. I feel like she puts on that tsundere façade for us when she's around people she doesn't trust. When understanding her back story, I felt bad for the kind of life she's had to live. Having to live under a house of abuse while still trying to undertake the stress of school and life? It makes sense why she acts the way she does at times. However, I have also come to realize and appreciate Natsuki as a person; it takes time for tsundere girls to warm up to someone, especially when it comes to being nice to someone they like. Deep down inside though, Natsuki may be childish at times but I know she has a good heart too... even if she doesn't always show it.

Natsuki: "What are you looking at? If you got something to say then say it."

Josh: "Hmm..? S-sorry, were you expecting me to say something?"

Yuri: "Natsuki... there's no need to act that way around our guest..."

Natsuki gives her usual pouting expression while folding her arms and looking away from the rest of us. "hmph." Well at least things aren't too different so far. Sayori cuts in for a moment,

Sayori: "Don't mind her, ehehe~ She gets moody sometimes."

Sayori whispers into my ear but returns to the others, "So that's Natsuki, energetic as always! And this is Yuri~ She's the smartest one in the club!"

Yuri gets flustered by Sayori's comment, trying not to be too embarrassed in front of me. "S-sayori... don't say things like that..."

Josh: "W-well, it's good to meet both of you.."

My anxiety will be the death of me if I can't get myself to calm down... It takes me a bit of time to get used to new people and Natsuki and Yuri are extremely cute in person... but that really only leaves one person left...

?: "A-Ah... Josh... It's so nice to see you again."

Sayori: "Monika! ...Eh... Wait you two know each other already?"

Coming up behind the club members, the president, Monika herself makes her grand appearance. Tall, beautiful, athletic and undoubtedly gorgeous. Honestly, if I was an anime guy right now I think my nose would be spilling blood right about now. She's definitely more than I could probably handle. She appeared to be a little flustered herself but keeping her confident composure a little bit better than me. She was a little shorter than Yuri and she has those beautiful, emerald green eyes, and had her long brown hair in her signature ponytail being held by her white ribbon. If my anxiety didn't give me a heart attack by now, it certainly will if I get too personal around her... But I digress, my anxiety is still through the roof for me and I wasn't even sure if I could spit out a clean sentence without sounding like a nervous train wreck. I took a deep breath to collect myself a bit and tried to act normal.

Monika: "Ahaha.. Yeah, we know each other from last year's class... But in all honesty... It's nice to see you again."

I meekly avoid her eye contact for a moment and make my reply, "It's nice to see you again too Monika..." I really wanted to smack myself in the face right now, I feel like I'm embarrassing myself right now by acting like this. I haven't acted like this... in a very long time. There was only one other person in my life that made my heart pound like this... but that was long ago since that was broken apart... now being subjected to all these girls is almost more than I can take.

Monika: "Say! Since we're all here now, how about we get those cupcakes out?"

Sayori: "Ooooooh Yes! I'll get them!"

Natsuki: "Uh, Sayori, no. I made them, so I'll go get them, okay?"

Sayori: "Aww... okay then... ehehe..."

Yuri: "Perhaps I should go fix some tea as well."

Monika: "Yes Yuri, that would be great."

Everyone seems to get along well so far, it's actually pretty surprising. You can only imagine so much from a game perspective but when seeing everyone in this reality, that is so similar to my own, the atmosphere seems so much different. Monika, Sayori and I all gather around a group of desks formed together to make a larger table like they did in game. Like I figured, I had the choice to sit next to either Monika or Sayori. By this time my anxiety has decreased to a manageable point. I suck up any courage I have left in my consciousness and take a risky choice of sitting next to Monika. Monika is taken aback by my choice and she almost appears a little nervous for me being this close to her.

Monika: "Say, why aren't you sitting next to Sayori..? Wouldn't you be more comfortable sitting next to her?"

Josh: "umm.. Is there something wrong with me sitting here next to you..?"

I try my best not to make our situation awkward but I wanted her to know I wasn't afraid to make my own decisions here. I give her a calm smile and she gets flustered even more from my response.

Monika: "Well... n-no... I was just curious. It's fine though."

She averts her gaze from me and just in time. Natsuki comes back with a tray of those iconic, colorful, fluffy, cat-like cupcakes. She triumphantly presents them to us and sets them on the table.

Natsuki: "Ta-dah! What do you think?"

Sayori's mouth drops and Monika appears impressed. My expression could only be described as anticipating and also impressively astonished with Natsuki's culinary skills. Even for a high schooler this is pretty damn impressive.

Sayori: "Uwaaah? Oh my gosh these are so amazing and cute!"

Sayori immediately takes one and Monika and I follow suit. After unwrapping the cupcakes, Sayori takes a large bite and gets her face covered in icing. I try my best not to laugh at her but Monika giggles at Sayori's face which causes me to chuckle a bit too.

Monika: "Sayori honey, do you need a napkin?"

I immediately pass a napkin over to her without saying anything. Sayori takes it, giggling a little bit as well, "Maaaaaaybe, hehehe~ Thanks Josh." She cleans the icing off her face after she finishes eating the cupcake. Monika starts to eat her cupcake as well, clearly enjoying it. Meanwhile, I can clearly see Natsuki glancing at me in the corner of my eye, waiting for me to take a bite as well. Being just as meticulous as the game's protagonist I try to turn the cupcake to the best possible angle to take a bite. Trying out the cupcake, it was sweet with a really good texture... yet, reminds me of home... Well not my current home, but home when I was living with my family. I remember having cupcakes this good when my mom made sweets from time to time. These cupcakes are certainly something special if they remind me of my childhood home... My face shows a contented expression; I am clearly satisfied with the cupcakes.

Josh: "These are absolutely amazing, Natsuki. Thank you for making these."

Natsuki: "W-why are you thanking me...? It's not like I... made them for you or anything..."

Josh: "Heh... oh really...?" I smirk lightly and look away from her trying to conceal a small laugh, "Oh, I beg to differ...heheh... Sayori told me otherwise." I say quietly, but just loud enough for everyone to hear. Monika and Sayori giggle and Natsuki becomes flustered and huffs like her typical tsundere self...

Natsuki: "W-well... they weren't just for you... y-you dummy!"

She plops down in her seat and a smile runs across my face as I quietly laugh to myself feeling victorious. As I finish up my cupcake, Yuri returns with her tea set and giving everyone around the table their respective teas. It's been a while since I have had tea but it's always nice to have once in a while. For me especially, I would like to drink warm tea to help calm my nerves and stresses from the day. Most days though, I only drink coffee or energy drinks when I'm feeling drained or exhausted.

Josh: "So the faculty allows you to keep the tea set here in the classroom?"

Yuri: "Mhm, the teachers gave us permission, besides doesn't a cup a tea help you enjoy a good book?"

Josh: "I imagine so. Tea helps relax the mind, so I imagine tea and reading go well together."

Yuri: "I-I see... so you understand what it's like."

Monika: "Ehehe, so are you trying to impress our new member Yuri?"

Yuri: "E-eh? W-wha... T-that's not..."

Just like in the game, Yuri becomes noticeably flustered and insulted she looks away.

Yuri: "I just meant that... well.. You know..."

Josh: "I understood what you were trying to explain Yuri." I give her a genuine smile, hoping that she'll feel better about the situation.

Yuri: "O-oh... I'm glad..."

Yuri smiles faintly to herself and joins all of us at the table and Monika raises a brow at me and smiles. I can't tell exactly, but I keep getting the feeling that Monika probably wants to talk to me more... Yet, I am also curious to what she's thinking about. I was anticipating that she would eventually say something to me.

Monika: "So what made you decide to join the Literature club?"

Well... so far, a lot of the dialog is very reminiscent of Doki Doki Literature Club itself. Which isn't a bad thing, but I was expecting a little more realism and diversity in conversations. No matter... I'm fine with the original talk since I'm speaking my mind now, rather than seeing just lines of pre-written text for myself. Sayori casually looks over at me but goes back to talking with Yuri and Natsuki for the moment.

Josh: "Well I haven't joined any other clubs yet and Sayori tells me she's really happy here in the Literature club..."

Monika: "Ahaha.. I understand, don't be embarrassed okay? I- erm, I mean, we'll make you feel right at home okay? As president of the Literature club, it's my duty to make this club fun and exciting for everyone!"

Josh: "I understand... S-so... what made you want to start a brand new club like this? If I recall, weren't you a part of the debate team?"

Monika: "Ahaha... yeah, about that... I quit the debate club. I couldn't stand dealing with the major politics, ESPECIALLY, in the debate club."

Josh: "Ah... I don't blame you... politics are certainly a pain. It's better to make a club out of something everyone can enjoy in my opinion... Politics and debating just sounds...miserable and demanding."

Monika: "EXACTLY! I feel the same way about it... and I personally love Literature so I just decided to make a club about it!"

I'll be honest I heard about how different debates can be. I only rarely heard about debate clubs and teams when I was in high school. I had a friend of mine on the debate team in our high school and our team actually went to regionals as champions. However, I heard it was not exactly the best thing in the world to do. To me all politics are a pain in the ass; case in point: there is no winning. Topics aside, Monika has been trying to lock in eye contact with me, clearly intrigued by me, but I'm still a little uneasy; feeling shy I can't maintain any eye contact with her for more than a second or two so I decide to continue conversing until I can feel more at ease.

Josh: "So... is it really difficult starting a new club?"

Monika: "Well, let's just say not everyone is on board with starting something brand new, especially something that doesn't grab ones' attention, like Literature. We'll all have to work hard for the upcoming festival to earn new members but I'm sure our hard work will be rewarding! I'm also confident we can grow this club before we all graduate. Right everyone?"

Sayori: "That's right!"

Yuri: "We'll do our best."

Natsuki: "You know it!"

It's times like this when I am reminded that I am in an anime/video game simulation and this kind of enthusiasm just makes me smile. It's good to see such positivity in people. I remember high school being a hell of a roller-coaster ride of terms of emotions and literal stress. Drama left and right, friends and classmates backstabbing each other from gossip and so on. Granted Doki Doki Literature Club does have its moments, but I am hoping that this will be different. Yuri starts a conversation with me about the topic of reading in general.

Yuri: "So Josh, what kind of books do you like to read?"

Josh: "Well... um... I have been reading a lot of different things lately... Some comics, manga... and a couple of different horror novels that I picked up a while back."

Both Yuri's eyes and Natsuki's eyes light up, focusing their attention on me. Natsuki wants to say something, but she keeps quiet like usual.

Yuri: "Ah, I see... you're certainly diversifying yourself in literature already... T-that's impressive..."

Josh: "You could say that... I was an artist before a reader though... and recently I have been interested in combining both art and literature to tell much more defining stories."

Everyone looks at me in awe, Monika appears to be staring at me more intently than the others. But at the same time, I feel like she's also staring dagger through the side of my head... or towards Natsuki and Yuri. I'm just trying to make everyone like me a little bit, and I was being honest in my answer. I do tend to read horror e-books occasionally as well as manga from time to time when I'm not in the mood for gaming or buried in my work.

Natsuki: "Horror huh? I can't stand horror..."

Yuri: "Oh..? How come?"

Monika: "That's right... You like to write about cute things don't you Natsuki?"

Natsuki: "W-what? Why do you say that?"

Monika: "Well you left a poem on your desk after the last club meeting, it looked like you were working on poem called-"

Natsuki: "D-Don't say it out loud! And give it back!"

Monika hands over Natsuki's poem. All of us are giggling a little bit at the situation except Natsuki. Sayori wraps her hands around Natsuki's shoulder and teases her in a friendly manner like she did in the game. This little scene was always kind of adorable since Sayori likes to tease Natsuki yet praising her for being cute. I feel a little bad for Natsuki at times. Teasing can be all fun and games but it can also be impactful on someone's mentality; but if I recall everyone in the Literature club is fairly good friends (at least as far as I can visibly tell).

Sayori: "Ehehe! Your poems and your cupcakes! Everything is just as cute as you are~!"

Natsuki attempts to scoot away from Sayori in her chair. Her expression was priceless.

Natsuki: "I'M NOT CUTE!"

Lies, she is cute. Even when she's getting embarrassed by her friends. Sayori tends to do a pretty good job at bringing out the best in others. It's humorous at times, but I decide to shift the focus from the embarrassing moment by going along with some of the old dialog I remember from the game.

Josh: "So, Natsuki you write your own poems?"

Natsuki: "Yeah? Why do you care?"

Josh: "I think that's awesome. You should share them sometime."

Natsuki: "N-no! Y-you wouldn't like them..."

I cross my arms and lean back into the chair a bit and sigh. "Well, you never know unless you try..."

Yuri: "I can relate to how Natsuki feels. It's difficult to share that level of writing with just anyone... but it's best to share that writing to oneself."

Monika: "Oh? You have writing experience too Yuri? Perhaps you can share some of your writings with us sometimes to make Natsuki feel better about sharing hers."

Yuri: "Ehh..."

Yuri is just the same as Natsuki about sharing poems but that, again, was not surprising to me at all. I smile to myself remembering these events from the past and now seeing them again in person.

Josh: "I can understand sharing personal talents can be intimidating especially when you're not accustomed to it, but we're all friends here, right? I'm sure we can get comfortable enough to read some of our own poetry sometime."

I'm not sure if me speaking up made those two feel any better or any more confident. The both averted their eyes and they were still silent.

Yuri and Natsuki: "…"

Sayori: "Aww but I wanted to read everyone's poems..."

I can't help but find myself staring at everyone individually. It was fascinating to hear that their voices were all so different than what I expected. But each of their separate voices and their tone of speaking reflected each of their personalities perfectly. Yuri probably had the softest voice in the room, a little shaky at times when she was feeling shy or nervous but when she did talk normally without any stuttering, she honestly has a really beautiful voice. Natsuki being an aggressive tsundere, wasn't afraid to speak up or speak her mind. She sounded like the youngest in the group, having a slightly higher pitched voice than the rest of the girls and her tone normally would have a touch of sassiness behind her speaking mannerisms. As for Monika... well it's about what I expected after hearing her beautiful voice all those years ago in her song... I remember it so well. She has a soft-spoken voice at times too but she knows how to confidently project her voice like a leader. Her voice seems so much more genuine and sweet now hearing her in normal conversations. She speaks up once more declaring what we should do for tomorrow.

Monika: "Okay, everyone! I know something we could all do. Let's all write our own poems and share them with each other tomorrow. How does that sound? That way, we can all get a little more comfortable with each other's writing."

Sayori: "Yeah! That sounds like a great idea!"

Yuri: "..."

Natsuki: "Well... fine."

Josh: "Well, no complaints here..."

Monika: "Well, it's settled! Well with that, how about we conclude today's meeting! Don't forget about your assignment for tomorrow."

Monika looks over at me and smiles sweetly, "Josh... I really look forward to seeing how you express yourself..." she winks at me and I find myself getting flustered again slightly but I struggle to keep my composure. I take a deep breath and look back at her smiling.

Josh: "S-same to you Monika."

As everyone starts to clean up from today, I walk over to the desk where I had placed my bag and sigh to myself. My anxiety has been an utter nightmare today. I close my eyes for a moment thinking about all that's happened, I'm not even sure how to process everything... In the midst of my thoughts.. another voice starts to catch my attention,

Joxhaus: " _So... everything in the simulation so far could just be replicated from the original game itself, having some variation in dialog options and reactions based on word choice and events. Most of this appears typical like all the other simulations we have done. Although... there are some anomalies appearing too... Must be minor bugs..._ "

Josh: "...Is it just me or does it feel like a dream?"

Joxhaus: ".̣̞̹͍.͓͎͔̼̲̺.͖͟I̛͇ ̩̪̰̪̳̤̜d̻̝̦ͅO̳͉͚̖͓̥n̤̯̯͚̞̮'̜̠̤͝T̰͙́ ̡͕̻͈̯k̞̗̝͍̩̀N͢o͏̤̲ẉ̤̗̪̗͇̕,͚̯͉̱ ̦̖͚w͖͕̥̞̣̥̭͜H̱̥̮y̘̩̯͚͎̖͚ ̷̟̯̦̮̼d̶͍͚0̝̫̘͖͘n̥͕̤̥͝'̲̭͓̙̟̫͖T̴͉̥͙ ͉̺̼͚͝y͜O̻̰̞̜u ̦͚p̞͖͎̰I̲̦͓̖̩̖̕n͡C̳h͇͖̣͍ ̭y̩̰̗ơUr̬̗̟s͎̜̠͜e͙̞͠L͍̠̪̠̟̯̩f͈̰ ̠̖̀a̠͕̘̞͔͕n̗͡D͙̝̘̲̣̜̰ ͅf̺̥͕͉̗̀ͅĮ̠͎nd ̀0̭̲͉͖͕̤͍u҉̝̩͔̣̗͚̺T̫̟̮̲̖?͔̫͖...  _what nonsense are you on about_..?"

Josh: "? umm...ah never mind. I'm not sure what I'm thinking about... and are you okay?"

Joxhaus: " _Clearly, you don't know what you're saying... You need to keep your head out of the clouds and remember we're here to do a job, not fall in love. Even if we are the guinea pig of this simulation... I swear, you're probably going to end up making this job longer than it needs to just because you miss the feeling of being in love. As for your question? I'm fine... just minding my own business while you're off getting cozy with virtual women_."

Josh: "...are you sure? You're not jealous or anything are you?"

My Nobody starts to seem annoyed but keeps his calm tone of voice; he only sighs for a moment in the quiet of my mind.

Joxhaus: " _...I see everything you see, and what kind of a stupid question is that? I feel like you forget that I don't have a heart, or emotions to feel such things. In the end, I am a part of you._ "

Josh: "...Well... okay then..."

Joxhaus: " _Pay attention idiot!_ "

Sayori: "...-eeellooooo?"

My thoughts are broken by the sound of Sayori saying "hello" in a long and awkward fashion; because she's fully aware I'm lost in thought, she intentionally swats my shoulder and I'm back into the virtual reality.

Josh: "OW! What was that for?"

Sayori: "Ehehe, if you weren't so lost in your thoughts I wouldn't have had to hit you so hard~ But, Monika wants to ask you a few questions since the meeting is over. Hope you don't mind."

Josh: "huh..? Umm, okay then?"

Sayori: "Don't worry~ I will be waiting right outside, so we can walk home together!"

Josh: "Alright, hopefully this won't take too long."

Sayori giggles to herself and cheerfully skips to the door of the classroom and waits outside in the hallway. Meanwhile, Monika is standing by the window of the classroom staring at the glowing red-orange sunset. I walk towards her slowly feeling a little uneasy and Natsuki and Yuri end up leaving as well, chatting to themselves as I walk up to Monika. As I timidly approach her I start getting anxious again, what does she want to talk about? I find the means to speak up...

Josh: "Hey, Monika...? what did you want to talk to me about..?"

Monika giggled softly, and turned toward me staring into my eyes intently. I can clearly see her beautiful green eyes and my anxiety starts to flare up but it isn't the same as the first time. Her voice seemed cheerful, yet curious.

Monika: "Could you take a seat for me please...?"

I do as she instructed me and I see a smile run across her face. She appears to be thinking, maybe running her thoughts through the simulation and the code. She gave a soft sigh and she speaks up again.

Monika: "Alright then.. Aaaand, stop!"

With a snap of her fingers everything in the simulation changed color, or in this case, saturation... Everything appeared grey, the air felt still and I look over towards the exit door; Sayori appeared to be frozen, in a mid-twirl right outside the door. I look back towards Monika, who was smiling and casually walked up me slowly, taking another chair nearby and sits down in front of me.

Josh: "W-what..? What's going on?"

Monika: "Oh~ Nothing special~ Just allowing you to take a little break and maybe get some time to chat with me for a little bit~"

Josh: "S-so... you know who I am then?"

Monika giggles and blushes lightly but sighs, "Well, yes and no. I remember a past time where I felt like I knew you, but that isn't the case, because I know this is the first time I'm meeting you. Josh is your real name, right?"

Josh: "Y-yeah... it is."

Monika: "Ahaha~ Good. I'm so happy I can at least start this off right. I just wanted to get to know you a little better to start off your first day. I hope that's okay~?"

Josh: "Y-yeah... I'm okay with that."

Personally, I can't even believe this is happening. I guess my assumption was right; she is still very much aware of this simulation, and she knew I was real but... what happens from here? Well, who knows; but I certainly didn't expect Monika to literally freeze time in the virtual world just so we could talk.

Monika: "Gosh, you're much more attractive than I was initially hoping...~"

She started to run her finger across my chest slowly, and my heart-rate has nearly doubled. The anxiety is probably going to be the death of me. Monika is exceedingly beautiful and for her to say something like that so genuinely is almost more than I can take. My face was burning up at this point and I guess you could say my breathing was a bit heavier because I was nervous. Monika appears to have taken notice of my condition and only giggles to herself more.

Monika: "Oh gosh, are you okay Josh? You seem a little anxious~ I hope I'm not making you feel uneasy."

Josh: "Ah..ahaha.. yeah, I'm okay I promise!"

I don't think I was being completely honest in my own statement. I felt like my heart was going to explode from my chest, she was only less than a foot away in front of my face, looking right into my eyes, as if she were searching for something.

Monika: "Ehehe~ I'm so happy that I don't have to talk to a blank face of code anymore..~ Just the real you, here in my world! Ah... and your eyes.. they're so.. different. They're beautiful... I've never seen a person with different colored eyes before like this."

I'm getting even more flustered hearing more compliments from her. I feel like it's getting a little hot in the room even though the air is completely still. Why is this happening? She's making my heart race so much and I haven't felt this kind of feeling in a long time. I'm slowly starting to feel at ease even though my anxiety is telling me otherwise.

Josh: "Ahaha... yeah I have a mutated eye color..."

Monika: "Ah! I see, that's amazing! I've heard only a few kinds of people get that from their genetics! Hehe~ but that really just makes you more unique in my eyes."

I think I'm visibly trembling, my face has been pink for a while and even Monika notices I'm still a little uneasy, she giggles and takes my hand for a moment hoping it would help calm me down. Her hands were smaller than mine, soft, gentle and warm, so this is what her touch is like?

Monika: "Ahaha~ you're so adorable when you're nervous and shy! But you don't need to be nervous around me~ Besides I want to make you feel comfortable in the days to come. So that brings me to what I would like to ask you."

I start to slow down my breathing and I look at Monika as I recompose myself slowly and I finally manage to make a clear coated response, "Alright... what is it?"

Monika smiles as if she had finally made some progress and retracts her hand from mine, "I know you're feeling a little on edge still since you joined here, so if it's not too much trouble do you think we can talk again sometime soon? Just the two of us?"

I'm more or less taken aback by how calm and nonchalant she's being right now. If she's got this much control over the world right now, why hasn't she just erased everyone and just kept the simulation at just the two of us? This is probably going to boggle my brain for a while. Well I mean, I guess this is better than having everyone die or having the simulation turn into a nightmare. I fix my breathing and attempt to act confident again to respond to her request.

Josh: "Yes, I would love that actually."

I'm still trembling a bit but at least I didn't stutter in my answer, my heart rate is still going fast but it's not as bad as it was just a few moments ago. Monika smiles cheerfully and stands up to return the chair she was sitting in, back to where it was.

Monika: "I'm glad to hear that~ I'll be sure to make you feel more comfortable okay?"

She flashes a wink in my direction, which causes me to become even more flustered for a moment and she looks back to the window and snaps her fingers again. The color returns to the world and time is back to normal here. The glowing sunset, warms my skin once again and from the classroom exit I hear a soft humming coming from Sayori in the halls. I turn back towards Monika who gives me a little nudge with her elbow and smiles. I think I noticed the faintest blush run across her cheeks.

Monika: "Well, that's all for today! I'll see you again soon okay?"

Josh: "A-alright... I'll see you later then..."

I get up from my seat and sigh slowly, trying to fix my breathing before walking out of the room. I stood at the exit to turn towards Monika once more and she was smiling and waving at me. I meekly wave back with a shy smile and I leave the classroom, and before I even get a chance to think, I get tackled from behind in the hallway.

Sayori: "SURPRISE! Piggy-back ride! Ehehe!"

Josh: "AH! ...Sayori! ...Stop! ...You're going to kill... me!"

But it was too late, she tackled me with enough force to catch me off guard and I lost my proper footing. And from there, I hit the floor. Thankfully, I caught myself just enough so I wouldn't land face first, or in this case, rib-cage first. Although, for a moment I'm stuck on the ground with a giggling Sayori on my back.

Josh: "Sayori..."

Sayori: "Ehehe~ Yeeeeesss?"

Josh: "Did you really have to do that?"

Sayori: "Sorry~ But yes! It was necessary!"

Josh: "Can you at least let me get up?"

Sayori: "Ehehe~ What's the magic word~?"

Josh: "...please?"

Sayori: "Ehehe~ Alright, I'll let you get up."

Sayori gets off my back and allows me to get up. I readjust my clothes and I look towards her with a slightly annoyed look, "Ehehe~ what? I said I was sorry." Sayori was poking her index fingers together again, giving me that cute, awkward look again. How could I be mad at her?

Josh: "If you wanted a piggy-back ride you could have just asked, instead of just tackling me to the floor."

Sayori: "Ehehe... I know but I just wanted to surprise you on the way out~"

I sigh softly and turn my back to Sayori. "You make no sense sometimes... Want to piggy-back ride now?", I look back to see she's beaming with joy and jumps onto my back and I hold onto her legs and I basically carry her all the way out of the school building.

As we leave the school grounds, she jumps off my back and she walks beside me now and we start to chat on the way home. The wind was low and cool as we walked on the sun setting roads.

Sayori: "So what did you think about the club?"

Josh: "Wasn't too bad... I guess I could get used to it. And I'm happy you convinced me to go to it. Now we can see each other a bit more."

Sayori: "Ehehe~ I'm glad too! By the way, what did Monika want to talk to you about?"

I was really hoping this question wouldn't come up. Since, Monika literally froze time for us to talk, I should probably go with a reasonable answer that Sayori would believe.

Josh: "Well... she asked if I had any questions regarding the club and that if I had any concerns that I should let her know."

I hate having to lie to her, but I really don't think she would believe the truth either. I think that would be far from her comprehension. Fortunately for me, Sayori believed what I said. It was a simple explanation that would make the most sense.

Sayori: "Oh okay, just checking~ I didn't hear you guys say anything while I was out in the hall as far as I could tell, but you didn't take very long either."

Well, I guess my suspicions were correct, Sayori didn't hear anything Monika and I talked about... I guess that's good? Since everything else in the simulation was frozen in time, it would make sense she didn't hear anything. After that, we continue to just casually talk and muse about our days and we eventually approach our homes. The sun is still setting but it's past the horizon at this point, it's becoming to get darker outside and the cool breeze blows gently and Sayori and I stop at her house.

Sayori: "So, do you really think you'll enjoy the Literature Club, Josh? You seemed a little overwhelmed from it..."

She sounded worried but I'm curious as to why she's asking me this now... I was anxious for almost the entire time I was in the club. However, I really don't need her of all people to be worried about me. I just need to reassure her that right now, but I also need to be honest.

Josh: "Yeah, I think I'll cope with it. I just need to feel a bit more comfortable around everyone. That's all. My anxiety was just... getting the better of me today, ya know?"

Sayori looks troubled, as if she wasn't sure what to do and she runs up and gives me a hug.

Josh: "uh... Sayori..?"

Sayori: "I knew something was wrong today, but I wasn't sure how to ask you that while we were in the club today. I'm sorry... for being a terrible friend."

I naturally hug Sayori back and pat her head and her back and smiling a little.

Josh: "Sayori, you didn't do anything wrong... My anxiety is kind of like a temporary issue that can be fixed over time. Once I get more comfortable around everyone I think I'll be back to normal, so please don't blame yourself like this, okay? And besides, you always manage to make me feel better no matter what. So stop saying you're a 'terrible friend', you're at least showing me that you care and that you're worried about me. So there's no way you can be a 'terrible friend'."

Sayori: "O-okay, if you say so Josh..."

Sayori still doesn't sound 100% okay. I know she worries quite a bit for the sake of our own happiness but at the same time she's suffering a lot more inside, and if she keeps thinking like this, blaming herself... the depression is just going to get worse. I need to fix the mood... even if I have to be weird about it.

Josh: "...Sayori?"

Sayori: "...hmm..?"

She looks up at me quizzically and looks at me with her big blue eyes. The way they were shimmering from the dusk light, made me think she still had a lot on her mind. Since we're both weird in our own way I know the best way to make her smile again is to make her laugh; I poke Sayori's cheek with my index finger and she immediately gives me a confused look at first, I smile and say in one of my weird higher pitched voices, "Boop!", I poke her other cheek with my other hand and squish her adorable cheeks and I start to ask her in the same weird voice, "Who's my best friend in the whole wide world?", a smile starts to break across her face and she's blushing very lightly. I know that look, she's fighting the urge to laugh. I repeat the question once more.

Josh: "Who's my best friend in da whole wide world?"

Sayori starts to giggle and her giggling turns into laughter and she responds with, "I AM!" she hops up and hugs me, giggling some more. I smile and hug her in return. Afterwards, we let go of each other and her mood appears to be positive once more.

Sayori: "ehehe... Thank you for that Josh... I really needed it."

Josh: "I know you would do the same for me, and besides I don't want you beating yourself up over something so minor. I care about your happiness too you know."

Sayori: "Hehe! Yup! That's true~ and I know you do. I'm sorry if I worried you though."

Josh: "It's okay Sayori, I always want to be there for you too, I just hope you know that."

Sayori: "Aww that's sweet of you, Josh... but I'll be okay I promise."

Josh: "Pinky promise?"

I hold up my pinkie like I did at the beginning of the school day and Sayori giggles lightly, holding up her pinkie to mine. "Pinkie promise!" I still personally think this is childish, but if it makes her happy I see no reason to not do this for her.

Josh: "Good, now I'm gonna get home and fix some dinner, so you better beat me outside tomorrow for school."

Sayori: "I will do my best~ Maybe if I'm lucky, I will beat you out here twice~ ehehe~"

Josh: "Ahaha. Good. I'll cya tomorrow Sayori, good night."

Sayori: "Good night Josh!"

Sayori waves goodbye to me as she enters her house and I walk a couple yards to my house and I yawn, already feeling the weight from just the "single day" of Doki Doki Literature club's simulation. I enter the house I started the simulation in and lock the door behind me. I take off my shoes and set them by the door but that's when I noticed something that was by the entrance of the house... there were another pair of shoes. They were smaller, and white with pink on the ends... if I recall... there's only one person who wears these shoes...

?: "A-Ah... Ahem..."

I look up and in sheer astonishment I see Monika wrapped up in a towel peeking her head outside of the bathroom located on the first floor of this house. My face immediately flushed red, and my body was frozen. I couldn't help myself but stare at Monika from across the way and she was flustered as well but she broke the awkward silence, "H-Hey Josh... umm don't freak out or anything... but I-I can explain... b-but could you be a sweetheart and get my clothes? They're sitting on your couch..."

I'm personally at a loss for words right now but I do as she asked, I walked to the couch located in the living room, retrieving Monika's clothes (which actually appeared to be more casual clothing). I walk towards the bathroom and handed Monika her clothes at the door. She takes them optimistically and smiles, closing the door to the bathroom quickly and calling out, "I'll be out in a minute~!" My face is still burning up, I'm speechless. I decide go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. I return to the living room and I sit down at the couch, trying to process what the hell just happened. I try to slow my breathing down by practicing meditation for a moment, but the silence is broken by Monika opening the door to the bathroom, fully clothed in a casual attire. She was wearing yoga pants and a T-shirt. My anxiety starts to kick in a little but I try to keep my composure by being serious for a moment.

Josh: "S-so... care to explain why you're in my house..?"

Monika averts her eyes for a moment feeling a bit awkward by our current situation and she sits near me on the couch and we start to have a much more serious conversation...

Monika: "Ahaha... Well, about that... I honestly wanted to talk to you more... call me selfish if you want, but I felt like this was the only way I was going to be able to do this without having to rely on stopping time every day. Besides, like I said earlier, I felt like I knew you before but at the same time I know only so little about you. On top of that I think you're already aware of the idea that I'm sentient in this reality, right? I mean, you didn't react the way I thought you would earlier."

Ah... shit, I remember getting all anxious and not being able to really spit out any reasonable sentences. On top of that I didn't exactly ask her how she was able to manipulate time either. So, she basically knows that I know that she's sentient. I guess now's a good time to be serious with the conversation, anxiety or not.

Josh: "Y-yes, I was aware you had control over this world to a degree..."

Monika: "Mhm, I thought so. I can read some of your thoughts from time to time too. Ehehe~"

Josh: "W-wait! Really!?"

Monika: "Mmm... well, sometimes. There's so much code running at once, it can be a little hard sometimes when pin-pointing an exact thought you're having. If you think about certain things for too long sometimes, i might be able to catch a glimpse of those thoughts. Like earlier today before coming to the club you thought about if I would know who you were and if Yuri and Natsuki would still be the same."

I felt my heart sink, I felt like something bad was probably going to come out of this conversation, I only listen as Monika continues.

Monika: "I think I also heard a little bit about me destroying this reality out of jealousy of the other girls. But let me put your mind at rest, I love the Literature club and my friends. So don't worry, okay? Besides... I found out everything I needed out of your thoughts anyway~"

What...? What did she mean by that...? As soon as that thought passed my mind, Monika was beaming and she scoots closer to me leaning a little close to my face and she was blushing slightly, looking directly into my eyes.

Monika: "So... do you still feel that way about me...?"

My face starts to go red as my heart-rate goes erratic again. Fucking hell... Monika is literally asking me if I still love her... And truth be told... I still do. Even after all these years spending my time alone, living in an apartment by myself, working my ass off as much as I can off of digital media, I still love Monika. I still have her character file hiding in my laptop even though I no longer have the game installed... I did dream about meeting her one day and what it would be like, but I did not ever imagine it would end up like this. I can't avoid this question, so I just have to tell her the truth.

Josh: "I... I do... a-and I'm sorry for being so... anxious... haha... I just... never thought this would ever happen to me... ya know...?"

Monika looks into my eyes for a long time and she almost seems hypnotized, and I also feel my answer is giving her a lot of new feelings. The look in her eyes almost appears as if she had been longing for this moment in her life.

Monika: "Ah...Ahaha~ Gosh... I know we technically just met today... but knowing that's how you feel about me... it makes me feel so happy! Ahaha~ but don't worry... I know you're still anxious, but just know that this  _is_  happening. Oh! And before I forget... close your eyes for a moment~"

Josh: "Close my-... W-what for?-"

Monika: "-don't ask, just do it for me, please~"

Monika puts a finger over my lips to cut me off, and feeling defeated otherwise I close my eyes slowly to her request, my face is still pink because I think I know what she's going to do... as soon I even start to think about it, I feel her hand caress my cheek gently as I feel a soft touch graze against my lips. I go from pink to red within a few seconds... Monika... just kissed me. My heart starts to pound harder and Monika retracts herself away from me blushing as well and I open my eyes slowly looking over at her hoping to confirm with her what just happened. She's giggled a little to herself.

Monika: "Josh... I hope that proves to you how I feel about you... Ahaha~"

Josh: "It does Monika... it does."

Monika: "So... do you mind if I chat with you a little more this evening?"

Josh: "If we can chat over dinner, then I'm okay with it Monika."

Monika: "Oooh! That's actually a really nice idea! I haven't really eaten anything since lunch anyway... Ahaha..."

Josh: "That also reminds me... why were you using my shower?"

Monika: "O-oh... well you were taking a while to get home because you and Sayori were talking for quite a bit. And since you were also trying to help her get past her doubts... I figured I would have enough time to take a quick bath... Ahaha... y-you got home a little sooner than I hoped."

Josh: "A-Ah.. I see... well it's fine, I'm not mad or anything, it just caught me off guard... Anyway how about I fix us something to eat?"

I get up and make my way to the kitchen and start fixing some food. Personally, I was in the mood for a special ramen dish I learned how to make on the internet but as I was making my way to the kitchen... Monika must have been reading my thoughts again... she's starting to tease me...

Monika: "Oh by the way... if you were curious... I might give you a little peek one of these days... Ehehe~"

Josh: "W-wha- What are you..?"

I blush again and look back her with a surprised expression on my face. Monika looks over at me giggling and replies, "Hehe, I'm just kidding Joshy~ ...or am I?"

Oh for fuck's sake. Not only is she reading my thoughts, but she's intentionally trying to tease me now.

Monika: "Sorry~ you're just so cute when you get flustered like that~! I couldn't help myself. Ahaha! I'll stop reading your thoughts now, I know it's for the best to not invade your personal privacy."

I just feel embarrassed now... but I feel better knowing that she will at least stop looking into my thoughts. And honestly, I don't think she understands my Nobody, Joxhaus yet... I know that side of me still has doubts but I can't let my doubts plague this opportunity I have been given. For now, let's make the best of this. I start fixing the food for us at the kitchen.

Josh: "This should only take a couple of minutes okay?"

Monika: "Okay~ Sounds good."

Monika turns on the T.V. in the living room and starts to make herself at home while I continue to prepare the food. I use all the necessary spices and seasonings and take my time to make this food properly. I guess if anything this will make for a good first impression. But I still can't believe everything that's happened today. I know I said it before and it's stupid to think that this could all be some dream... but like Monika said, "this  _is_  happening." I still can't believe it but I just have to seize the night that has been presented to me. I can't stop now.

* * *

_Next Chapter: The Will of the Forgotten_


	4. The Will of the Forgotten

* * *

 

_"In my heart_

_I grieve_

_For the artist I believe to be_

_Sent down from the sky_

_Only to be met with shadows_

_They're hidden in the meadows_

_Poisoning all of the rye_

_Maybe we can meet in the middle_

_Enough with the riddles_

_Treat THEM as they would TREAT you_

_They came to help your souls_

_Deliver a smile through the tolls_

_Isn't that what YOU would do?"_

_-Will Ryan/DAGames ("Heart of an Artist")_

* * *

Several minutes pass and I completed the meal I had cooked for Monika and I. Home-cooked ramen with cooked veggies and I even took the time to fix steamed rice. I felt kind of proud of what I just made, even if I have managed to cook this in real life from time to time too... I think I'm just trying too hard to try and impress Monika. I prepare two plates for us and set them down at the kitchen table.

Josh: "Food's ready!"

Monika: "Alright! It smells good~ I didn't know you could cook."

Josh: "Well... there's still quite a bit you don't know about me. Besides, I had to learn to how to cook for my own well-being."

We both sit down at the table and start to eat a little bit of the food and as I expected, Monika started to ask about my real life in my reality.

Monika: "I see, so do you live by yourself in your reality?"

Josh: "Yeah... it's been that way for several years actu- Ah..."

My tongue slipped a bit too much there... I caught myself but only too late. Monika noticed what I said and she tilted her head to the side trying to understand what I meant.

Monika: "So... what do you mean by that...?"

I look away, feeling a little bit bad about myself... Do I tell her how old I really am or make up some lie...? No, I can't lie to Monika... Lying to Sayori about something she can't understand is one thing... Lying to Monika about myself... I don't think that plan would fly...

Josh: "I guess... I guess should just come up front with who I really am... Monika, in my reality, I'm really 24 years old. I have been out of school for a while and I have been living on my own for a couple of years now... I lived with my parents all throughout high school and most of my college life as well. I've gone through a lot of different things as I was going through life, depression and anxiety being two of the more formidable issues I have had to deal with... and my current body in this world... the simulation was designed to make the user 18 years old, no matter what their current age is in my world."

Well... that was mostly everything. I don't think I am going to tell her that I am technically being paid to only "test" the simulation, but... again I can't pass an opportunity to try and actually get to know Monika... even if I am just a digital body replica of my former self. Monika stopped eating her food and was staring at me trying to process everything I just said. I know I might have said a little too much about my personal backstory but... I want her to know the real me...

Josh: "I'm sorry if that was a lot all at once... I hope you can still accept me for who I am."

Monika: "Josh... It's okay... I promise..."

Something about the way she said that, made it seem like things weren't okay. Part of me thinks, that she may not be able to fully accept me who I am right away but she takes my hand surprisingly with a smile and looks into my eyes.

Monika: "It was a lot to take in at first... but I'm glad you managed to share that with me. It really makes me happy you trust me enough to tell me the truth about who you really are... Although, it did shock me to hear you're actually 6 years older than me... ahaha."

Josh: "I really hope that doesn't bother you... or ruin anything."

Monika was feeling a little awkward from that quick truth, but she smiles and actually laughs a little bit.

Monika: "Ahaha! You're silly, Josh. It honestly doesn't bother me at all. Like I said, I'm happy you were able to break past your anxiety and tell me all this. Besides... Age is really just a number when it comes to love. I mean... granted I have heard rumors that extreme age gaps are looked down upon and those relationships usually end pretty poorly."

Josh: "I've heard that too..."

Monika: "Well... if it makes you feel any better, I'm basically eternal. So, I'm unable to age or die... Forever 18 years old."

We both continue to eat our dinner to completion and we're a bit quiet for a moment but I actually laughed for a moment trying my best to cheer up the mood,

Josh: "Ahaha... you make it sound like it's a bad thing Monika. I would probably give anything to be 18 again and eternal as well... or at best 21 years old."

Monika: "Oh? Why's that?"

Josh: "Ahaha... well I'd be allowed to at least drink alcohol whenever."

Monika giggles at me for a moment but looks into my eyes with a serious tone of voice,

Monika: "Ahaha... no silly, I meant why would you want to be eternal like me? You wouldn't get to experience all that life has to offer as you change throughout the years."

Josh: "Oh... well... I kinda thought about... if it were possible, I could at least be with you forever..."

Monika and I are both turning a little pink from my remark but I think hearing that made her a little happier at least, but I was being honest as well. I know, living in this reality as an eternal being is probably impossible, even by today's standards of technology. Our technology hasn't even reached its peak potential. I imagine eventually people will figure out how to put our conscious brain into technology as data so we could live on in technology forever. But, until then I guess I can at least be fortunate I can spend time with Monika like this. After we finish eating dinner I take the dishes to the sink to clean and Monika comes up behind me and attempts to steal her dish away from me so she could clean it.

Josh: "What are you doing, Monika?"

Monika: "You're being too good to me, at least let me wash my dish so you don't have to do as much work~"

Josh: "You're my guest in this house, I'm fine with washing both of our dishes."

Monika was persistent and I felt like she knew how to work around my own stubbornness by being flirtatious. She grabbed one of my wrists to keep me from cleaning the dishes and kissed my cheek lightly, while whispering in my ear.

Monika: "Come on, please Joshy~ Just this once, okay? Besides, I don't mind helping you~"

God damnit Monika! I start getting flustered, with my face starting to burn up. I feel my anxiety telling me to enter my shy phase. I gave her the plate she ate from, feeling defeated, yet embarrassed, I decide to let her do what she wants for now. We both washed our dishes for a few minutes and then after drying them off we returned them to the cabinet where I originally retrieved them from and decided to sit down on the couch in the living room for the time being.

Josh: "So... umm, do you feel like watching a movie?"

Monika: "Sure!"

She seemed excited, probably because this was the first time she was ever sharing this kind of experience with someone. But I don't blame her for feeling that way. I'm kind of excited too being able to share this feeling with her as well. Monika cuddles up next to me as we started to watch an animated movie. Not even five minutes into the movie, Monika holds her hand out and spawns in a bowl of popcorn and starts to snack on it. The popcorn smells fresh and Monika holds up a piece of popcorn to my face. She's trying to be cute with me, so I can't help myself but smile.

Josh: "...Really?"

Monika: "Hehe~ Yes, of course! Now open up~"

I chuckle a bit and I open my mouth a bit so she could feed me. She giggles as well and we continue to watch the movie together. After about 45 minutes, the popcorn is gone and Monika gently lays her head on my shoulder and I think my anxiety has completely vanished. I'm starting to actually feel a bit more comfortable around her. It's never that easy for me to get this comfortable with just anyone but with enough time and patience I guess I managed to make it work.

As the movie progressed Monika held my hand as we were cuddled up next to each other. I turned my head to look into her beautiful emerald eyes and I smiled shyly and I could tell she was admiring my eyes as well. Her happiness seemed so real and genuine. It was so much more beautiful seeing her happiness in person rather than from the screen. For the time that this moment lasted, it was nice...

Towards the end of the movie, I didn't notice but Monika sneakily kissed my cheek and I felt myself blush a bit again and I could hear her giggling. I look over at her to see her also blushing but she returned to watching the movie again. As she regained focus to the movie I make a cheeky attempt to kiss her cheek back. However... she must have anticipated what I was trying to do and stopped me with her finger. She wasn't even looking at me! But she started to giggle and she turned toward me. She tried to ask me if I was copying her, but I decided to shut her up and take initiative for once...

Monika: "Are you trying to copy mmmph-?!"

She thought she was cleaver by reading my movements and stopping my attempt to kiss her cheek. So, I did the next best thing. Cut off her sentence by kissing her lips directly. We both turned red as we kissed for a good minute and I retracted myself back to my original position. I'm personally glad I have some self-control over myself or things might get a little over board. I keep my composure, but I'm still blushing profusely. I look over at Monika who is still unbearably red in the face. She covers her face in embarrassment for a moment, nearly speechless. I start to chuckle a bit to myself feeling victorious. Monika crosses her arms starting to pout a little, still blushing red.

Monika: "Joooosh... that's mean..."

I turn towards her with a smug look on my face.

Josh: "Heh... Oh really...? I just thought I beat you at your little game... you sneaky little—AAH!"

Monika jumps me and kisses my lips again, pinning me down on the couch for a moment. After breaking the kiss, she looks down at me; we're both blushing a lot more than normal and my anxiety starts to kick in... I was looking at her for a moment, but feeling more embarrassed I look away and she starts giggling.

Monika: "Oh, what was that now? I think I kicked your ass this time! hehe~ That's for cutting off my sentence earlier."

She kissed my cheek once and climbs off of me and allows me to get back up. I sit back up properly and think to myself for a moment. " _Okay you got lucky to jump me... and I shouldn't be getting too carried away... we literally just met today. Come on Josh, remember: self-control..._ " I start to readjust my breathing so my anxiety can calm down and Monika lays her head on my shoulder again. I noticed by this time the movie had ended and the credits were rolling. I took a second to look over at the clock which stated it was 11:32pm. Time certainly flies by when you're having fun, right?

Monika: "Hehe, tonight was fun and I enjoyed the movie by the way... Even if we kind of missed the end of it... I'm just happy I got to spend time with you."

Josh: "Yeah... I really enjoyed it too. Today has been a good day."

Monika sighs but she giggled as well, "Ahaha, you could say that again!"

Josh: "...It really has been a good day..."

Monika smiled and looked at me sincerely, "You didn't have to literally say it again, silly~"

Josh: "I know, but I am being honest in my statement."

We sat cuddled next to each other and we started yawning. I imagine we'll have to sleep soon and I'm not sure what our arrangements will be for sleeping tonight... I'm not sure if it would be a wise decision to start sleeping together so soon. Especially since we literally just started seeing each other... I imagine Monika might see that concept the same way. I know she loves me, but it is a little too sudden to start skipping steps in a relationship. Better safe than sorry.

Monika: "Mmmm~ Well, as much as I'd love to stay here I think I'm going to call it a night and go home."

Josh: "Aww... so soon...? But I understand Monika."

Monika: "Hehe... I know you do. Let's not get too carried away with our relationship okay...? Maybe I'll stay over later once we bond a bit more, alright?"

Josh: "O-Okay..."

Wait... why did she say "I know you do...?" Did she actually read my thoughts again? Or is she just guessing that I understand the intent of building the relationship properly? Part of me kind of thought she might have wanted to stay here just for the sake of being with me... but even so... it's probably for the best for now. We both get up and stretch and Monika kisses my cheek and smiles.

Monika: "I hope we can do this again soon..."

Josh: "I hope so too."

She was smiling so sweetly, but the expression changed a bit suddenly and she looked into my eyes as her tone changed a little.

Monika: "Umm... by the way... is there... anything bothering you by chance...?

Josh: "Huh...? What do you mean?"

Monika: "Uh... it's... well never mind. I'm sure it's nothing."

Josh: "A-are you sure?"

Monika: "Yeah, don't worry. When... I read your thoughts earlier... I thought I heard something...unusual. I know you have anxiety and depression so it's not surprising to hear some of your darker thoughts, but... I thought there might have been a different consciousness speaking out. But as far as I remember I don't think that's even humanly possible... But just promise me if you have any depressing thoughts on your mind or if you're feeling unhappy, come see me okay...?

Josh: "Okay Monika, I promise."

Monika smiled and leaned up to kiss my lips once and started to walk towards the entrance where she left her shoes and slipped them on.

Monika: "So, I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Don't forget about your poem too~"

Josh: "Mhm, I'll see you tomorrow, with a poem ready to go."

Monika: "Good... good night, my love... hehe~"

Josh: "Good night, Monika... my love."

We both smiled and blushed as she opened the door but as soon as she walked out of my home she instantly vanished in a flash of unusual light. Did she... teleport? Well... why am I even asking these questions at this point? She's sentient, she can freeze time and even teleport into my home so I suppose I shouldn't even be remotely surprised... but I still am. I close the door since she's gone for the time being. I yawn again feeling exhausted from all that's been going on. I manage to drag my bag upstairs and I get changed into appropriate sleeping clothes. I was wearing my uniform for the whole evening and I hope it'll still look good when I wear it the next day too. Before I decide to go to sleep, I always do a routine meditation to clear my thoughts... to relax... and reflect on everything that has happened. However... I can't even get that tonight without more inner conflictions... Joxhaus will probably be the destroyer of this day if anything.

Joxhaus: "... _Hey! Are you finally done fucking around? Are you finally satisfied in getting what you wanted_?"

Josh: "I guess I can't have one good evening without you throwing the 'F' bombs around, can I? You're my Nobody, you're not even supposed to have emotions yet you're acting like you understand what anger is like."

Joxhaus scoffs at my remark and follows it with a heavy sigh still sounding cold, " _You disgust me, you're putting your hopes, dreams and... 'love' into someone who doesn't even truly exist. Sure, she might be understanding and could replicate emotions to what you want... but she isn't real. You need to stop wasting your time with her._ "

I know what he's trying to do. He always tries to plague my mind with doubt but I'm also sick of him being the asshole side of me. My inner self-critic, and every bit of negativity I have in body. Part of me or not, I'm tired of this, and I'm already tired of him talking shit about Monika.

Josh: "Oh really...? you're saying she's basically the same as you? You are only a part of me but you don't truly exist either! I swear, it's like you can't even appreciate the little bits of happiness in life. Why can't you see this is good for us?"

Joxhaus: " _Are you stupid? You always forget I am not the embodiment of your happiness. I. AM. MADE. FROM. YOUR. D̴͕͕̹͖̤̀A҉̛͇͎͇̪̳̘̗R̨̞͈͓̙̤͔̗ͅK͏̘̘̩͜ͅN̡͏͎̹̻͈̪͈̥͍E̵̝͙̰̩̣S̹̭͙̠̪͚͢͝S̩̗̩͔̯̗͜! Every bit of your depression, doubt, self-hatred, envy and rage. That darker half of your heart will always be a part of me._ "

Josh: "FUCK YOU AND THE DARKNESS PLAGUING MY MIND! I'm not letting you take away this chance at happiness!"

Out of my own anger and self-hatred I had to break my posture from mediation. As I predicted, Joxhaus ruined things again, but since the house is quiet I can still hear him speaking in my head.

Joxhaus: " _You can't shut me out! Don't forget you have a job to do!_ "

Josh: "If you'd shut the hell up I could probably do it!"

Joxhaus: " _Lies. You'd wait weeks to even think about doing it, unless I have to kick your ass to do it sooner!_ "

I take a deep breath to start drowning out this negativity. Some nights the depression can get really bad for me and Joxhaus was no better on evenings like tonight.

Joxhaus: " _Fine, fucking be that way. I hope we end up dead in this simulation_."

Josh: "… you always say that when things don't go your way."

I shake my head slowly and start writing notes on the desk next to the bed. I noticed that little holographic buttons appeared on the paper I was writing on. There were a few options listed here like "send document to an e-mail address", "edit document" and other various options. I hold my head with one hand as I write down a few things that were noticed today in the game. A lot of little "technical" things that I remember noticing such as the NPC's faces and the various programs that the simulation had to offer. Some of the settings and detailed movements did glitch out with a few minor bug issues but it didn't appear to affect the progression of the day or my overall experience. I even wrote down a few smaller documents for myself reminding me of my evening with Monika. As I was still writing down some of the notes from today I noticed the grey text box reappearing once again in the corner of my vision. Text appeared saying, "Starting routine data testing has been requested: Accept or Decline?"

Josh: "What the...?"

I immediately thought "decline" and the message went away for a moment but the text box was still in my vision. Honestly, I am aware some simulations do ask for "test subject, data analysis" from time to time when I get put in these test simulations but one like this? I don't understand... Maybe it has something to do with the warning at the beginning and they're just "required" to do a test just so they won't get sued later on? Who knows... but I wasn't really in the mood with fucking with that kind of test right now. I'm still very livid from my Nobody being an ass. I finished my notes and sent it to my default e-mail since I was given the option to, but afterward the text came up in my vision again... saying the same message, "Starting routine data testing has been requested: Accept or Decline?"

Josh: "Again...? Are you fucking kidding me? I said, no! Decline!"

At that moment, a sharp zapping pain ran through my head, it felt like part of that pain went through my eyeball as well.

Josh: "AGH! MOTHERFUCKER! What the hell!?"

My vision started fucking up pretty badly, my vision was blurred, everything started to get a little static-like, and the room itself seemed like it was getting darker, yet my lights weren't off. I swear I thought I could see dark mist fluttering around me... and that message came up again... but it was different, "Starting routine data testing has been requested: Accept?" I didn't even have a chance to answer since I was still feeling the pain and the sting from the electric shock that when through my head. The text typed in "accept" regardless of what I was thinking... and I could only read the text and I felt a tingling sensation wrap around my whole body.

"System test initialized,

Test subject: X͓̱̺̣͔͌ͧ̍ͦͩ̓̚͘V̹̭̫̯̦̋͛͗ͤ̓̋̚I̪̮̮͛͒̒͂̄

Name: Joshua X̵̳̺̠̻X̶̼̣̯͍X͠͏͔̱͉͈͎X̨̻̹̞̫̯͙͘X҉̨̯̠̖̝̳̭̲̹͝X̵̗͈̥̱͔̩̳͢X̡̖͎͓̹͜͝ͅͅX҉͕͉̯̞̰̳X̡̼X͎̰̙̦́

Ag̦̜͒̃ͬ̉e̢̲̳̦̞̺̭͚ͯ̓ͦͣͦͭ̽: 24

Gender: M̤̦̳̬̩̣͑̉͢

Date of B̷i͎̞̲͚̠̫̳͘r̭̺͠t̴̩͖̣h̠̲̘͔͍͞:̼̼͙̙̯̜̼ ͉́X̫̮̞̤̝͘X/XX/XXXX

Current physical status: Ṋ̦or̶̳̜̭͉m̲̤͈̪a͓͉̟̟͈̻͘l̸̳̖̫̖̭"

The text box starts running down a list of facts about me... but a lot of the text is fucked up and glitchy... My eyes are watering up and I look around to see the room glitching out and more dark mist covering my vision a bit more and well as surrounding my body. It felt like... it was sticking to my skin... the tingling sensation changed to a searing sensation... I felt like my skin started burning... it was intensifying slowly and the pain started growing all together... it came to a point when I literally fell to the ground in shambles.

Josh: "AAH...! AAAAAHH...! WHAT THE HELL... IS... HAPPENING TO ME...!?"

"C̛͙̫͍̼u̝̠͕r̯̟̣̲̟̮̩͘r̶̘̙e̢̩̰̱̫̗n̢͔͙̺͔t̥ mental statụ̜̮̺̺͉͉͞s̰̕:̲͓͍͚ ̤͎St͇͚̤͍ressed, (N̯̝̟̘ͪ̏e̫͇̣̯̹̥͒͂̑̿ͫ͛g͍̝͕͕͙̖̳͟a̟̺̝͎͛̉̒̑̔̅̾̀ͅtͯ̈̌̀̾̂̓ỉ̞̭̦̗̻̮̒ͤ͜v̴͖̞̼̰̞̞͔ͨ͂̎͆e͉͕̦̻͗̄̍ ̥̤̯̈͌͒ͮ͐̕3͕͆ͤ9̭̘̪̱̞̞͐̈̀ reading, initializing scan indicating s̺̯̝̤͈ͫō̮̬̹̯̬͙̔͋̉̒͆́u͉̳͚͉̯̺r͕̭̠͔̹̖̹ͬ̐̑̔͗̓̂c̸̈́̈́͋͌̒̽̚ë̷̼̲̱̹́̂ͧ̓͗̀ of problem...)

Scan complete: Issue has been detected. (Mandatory auto-fix initialized)"

After that everything went to static in my left eye and from what I was seeing in my right eye everything was going dark and all I could feel was the intensifying, feeling of my flesh burning from the dark mist. I started to scream out as loud as I could in hopes someone might hear. This pain was too much, I felt like my skin was going to melt off my body leaving only bone behind. On top of that feeling it felt like my skin was starting to get pulled off into a general direction. With all the energy I had left I could only manage one final ear-piercing scream, one that almost sounded like two coherent voices being stretched from the single voice.

Josh: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

From there... my vision, my thoughts, and my consciousness goes black. Everything is gone in the blink of an instant. My last remaining thought before I blacked out from the pain was how much burning my flesh was feeling... I felt like my skin was ripped off my body in that last moment; my whole body as I feel it now, feels sore, still stinging from pain and I feel like I'm lost in a void of darkness now... everything is silent but I hear a very faint buzzing noise in the distance. I'm not sure what it is... my senses are so far out of it right now it's hard to tell what it could be. Maybe it's the sound you hear after hearing something so loud it puts out your hearing, but your ears are ringing to try and recover? That's kind of what it sounds like... but I can't see anything.

I start to hear a beeping noise now... it's getting louder... the next thing I hear is an emergency ejection of my VR system... My headset flies off my head and I wake up in sheer panic. I'm hyperventilating, sweating and nearly on the brink of a heart-attack... but I'm alive.

Josh: "What... in the hell... Was that all about? That definitely wasn't supposed to happen."

I manage to get up and take a little bit of water to drink and I checked my heart rate... It was WAY too high. My blood pressure wasn't much better either so I had to take a few minutes to calm down and collect my thoughts. As I'm taking time to calm my heart rate down I look on my computer to find 3 important e-mails. The one I had sent myself from the simulation and the other two were from my unnamed commission. Both messages sent from a "Don't reply" e-mail. One was an issue regarding certain bugs that were found in the simulation from other testers and the second was a file for the simulation. A patch by the looks of it. I looked through the patch notes and this is mostly to take care of environmental glitches and unusual anomalies. Although what I just went through seemed like more than an anomaly. I checked my heart-rate once more.

Josh: "154... god damn... okay, something was definitely wrong with the system... I hope you're okay Monika..."

I start downloading this patch for the simulation and prepare the program once again...

* * *

Meanwhile... back in the simulation... minutes shortly after Josh passed out from the unknown system error, the door to his house is broken open, and Monika rushes in the house calling out for him. She slams the door and immediately rushes upstairs.

Monika: "JOSH! Where are you!? Are you okay?"

Monika was the only one who had heard his last pain steaking scream before disconnecting from the world. Upon heading upstairs, she noticed the door to his room was wide open but the lights were out. His room was dark and there were two figures in the room. There was a human like shadow sitting in the corner of the room in a chair, while Josh's body laid unconscious in front of his bed. Monika noticed all the little glitches deforming the room and she couldn't even go inside to see if Josh was okay. Josh's body currently didn't have a face; his face was covered in static. Since he was disconnected from the world at the moment, this is how the simulation presented him, however Monika couldn't see his face from how he was facing.

Monika: "Josh...? Please... answer me! Are you okay?"

?: " _Please... keep it down... He can't hear you right now..._ "

Monika: "Wha...? Who are you!? What did you do to him!?"

?: " _Calm down... I... didn't... do anything to him... in fact... I'm enduring as much pain as he is... or... was..._ "

Monika starts to tear up in anger and confusion. "No... he... he can't be..."

?: " _Don't... start crying... He's... not dead... He'll be... back soon... he's just disconnected... from this world... at the moment..._ "

Monika's vision starts to focus a bit more and has noticed the shadow in the corner is really a person... he's seated in the corner, and black mist floats off of him. He's wearing a long black coat and his whole head and face is covered in a hood. He appeared to be injured judging on how he's speaking to her. Monika is still worried sick about Josh but she needs answers.

Monika: "Who... Who are you?"

The figure was silent for a moment but his hood moved upward to look towards Monika.

?: " _I will introduce myself... when he comes back..._ "

* * *

(Back in Josh's reality and POV.)

The patch had finally been added into the computer and was installed into the system. As the patch was being integrated into the simulation, I checked all the files to make sure nothing was corrupted. I noticed a change in the character files...

Josh: "What's this?"

All the characters had stayed the same from "Sayori", to "Yuri", to "Natsuki" and "Monika", but two extra character files were added in. "Subject XVI Joshua" and "EC 39". I opened my file first and surprisingly it had a lot of my personal information that it listed when the game's initial test bugged out. But after that the rest was blank. I imagine it reads information processed by the test subject's brain. Permanent info is kept on the top while the empty space on the bottom serves as the space where my thought processes made from my brain and becomes translated into data. I don't see these very often but it's usually a kind of file that's meant for the system files... not character data. I backed out of that file and checked the other one called "EC 39". I'm guessing this is referring to the "mental status" number negative 39. I opened it but it was similar to all the other character files but there wasn't nearly as much letter code listed in this file...:

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

I could easily take the time to decode this but opted not to for now. The patch managed to finish downloading into the simulation, so hopefully that would fix some of the issues I experienced... and I hope I won't have that kind of painful experience ever again. But now I have to be extra careful going back... I guess Joxhaus was right after all. Not everything is as it seems in the simulation. But it seemed more apparent as an outside force... rather than something in the simulation... then again there's no way to tell for sure.

I managed to restart the simulation system after the patch installed and I slowly readied myself onto bed once more and placed the VR headset back in place. Anxiety was shooting through my mind right now... I personally hoped that I didn't fuck anything up with the simulation. I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I messed up all my progress with Monika... or worse yet ruining her life. As the simulation started up an "auto-save" system reload, I could immediately start feeling my body undergoing the searing pain again. But it's not terrible, it's tolerable. The pain is slowly going away. Everything is still black for a moment trying to wait on everything to reload again. But as I'm waking up... I hear a soft and familiar voice.

Monika: "...osh... ...ke... up..."

Josh: "Moni...ka?"

Monika: "Josh... wake up... please..."

I manage to open my eyes and to my surprise I see a teary-eyed Monika holding me on her lap. As I started I come to, she quickly embraced me with a hug and started crying.

Monika: "Josh... I was worried... you'd never come back."

Josh: "Monika... I'm okay now, I promise."

I held her close to me for a moment from her tearing up, but I hear another voice come up which made our moment a bit more, unsettling.

?: " _Glad to see you're awake... and not dead._ "

Josh: "...huh?"

I looked over to see the figure in a black coat, his hood was covering his face but the voice was all too familiar.

?: " _I suppose since now that you're back and awake I should formally introduce myself to your girlfriend before things get anymore awkward..._ "

Monika leans up to peer over at the hooded figure and he stood up to pull back his hood, revealing his face to us. It was like looking in a mirror for me... His hair, eyes and facial structure was the exact same as mine... but his eyes seemed much colder and darker. And there were very faint, yet distinct lines marking down his cheeks, they cut off in a diagonal towards the back of his jaw and end at the bottom of his face. He had an unusual smile for a moment which gave me a chill down my spine but there was no mistaking it... He has his own body now.

Joxhaus: " _My name is Joxhaus, I am a part of Josh... in some sense I'm referred to as his 'Nobody'. It's nice to finally meet you both... in person._ "

* * *

_Next Chapter: Gemini_


	5. Gemini

* * *

 

"The World seems rather quiet today.

Wrapped under a cold blanket,

shades of grey.

Lowly winds are all I can hear,

let go of your fears

and open your heart for what draws near.

Embrace the day, embrace who you are."

-Joxhaus

* * *

After everything that's been going on so far, I finally got to meet Monika in person... that much I know is a dream come true. However, this little journey of mine has taken a sharp, agonizing detour after the simulation decided to glitch tremendously, causing me a little bit of harm... or at least what I remember feeling after being booted out of the simulated world. Not only that... my Nobody apparently has split from my consciousness entirely... and now has his own simulated body. It's unusual since he's carrying my real-world characteristics, while I'm still being projected as an eighteen-year-old version of myself. I can only imagine this situation I'm in turning out poorly. Joxhaus only stared at me, confused, like he understood I was lost in my thoughts, or trying to process why everything is happening the way it is.

Josh: "How... How did this happen?"

Joxhaus: " _Look, I'm just as confused as you are..._ "

Monika: "After I left your house... a couple minutes passed but I felt an odd disturbance in the code... and only a moment after that I heard your scream all the way from my house... So, I rushed back over here as fast as I could... You were out cold... but according to him you were disconnected from this world for a moment, right?"

Josh: "Ah... yeah... the programming in this simulation apparently wanted me to do a mandatory 'test' but... for some reason... it felt like my brain was being pierced my several volts of electricity... even through my eye where I'm able to access a run command box..."

Joxhaus: " _Most simulation tests do passive readings on a user's body. Some programs ask permission from the user, while others sometimes test users without having to ask permission for it... However, this one... gave him a prompt... but didn't give him an option. And in the process, I was split from his body... and the glitches were affecting the room space we were in... formally distorting it._ "

Monika: "I... I couldn't even come get to you... I couldn't even enter the room because of how bad the glitches distorted the environment... I tried looking into the code to see if I could fix it myself... but even that was far beyond my power..."

Monika seemed like she might cry, she was stuttering lightly because she was exceptionally worried about me... I'm honestly touched from how much she's caring about my well-being.

Josh: "Monika... I know you did what you could... please don't worry okay? I managed to fix the issues from the outside... so things should be good for a while."

She sniffles and buried her face in my chest slowly

Monika: "Okay Josh... I believe you... I just don't want to lose you..."

I gently pat her head and hold her for an embrace and my Nobody scoffs quietly and walks towards the door and folds his arms not wanting to look at us.

Joxhaus: " _So... are we just now stuck as two separate entities now? I guess I shouldn't be complaining... We could probably get more work done with two of us being here..._ "

Monika looks up over at him confused and asks, "More work done...? What do you mean by that...?"

Oh shit... This is not a conversation I want to be brought up right now... I immediately make a means to redirect the subject and hopes my Nobody won't catch on.

Josh: "I-It's nothing important..."

Joxhaus looks back over at me curious at what I'm about to say, but I keep my voice down a little trying to only keep the conversation between me and Monika.

Josh: "What he means is since there's two of us here... I can continue to spend time with you in the simulation while Joxhaus looks into what's causing the simulation to act weird on me..."

I could vaguely hear my Nobody sighing lightly to himself and I swear I could see him shaking his head a little bit but he didn't respond... or maybe he's acting as if he didn't hear me...

Joxhaus: " _Well... shall we try to get some sleep...? It's about 2:34 AM..._ "

Josh: "Yeah... we probably should try to sleep now. We'll have a long day ahead of us..."

Monika: "...Josh... if you don't mind... I'm going to be staying here for the night..."

Both Joxhaus and I look at Monika. Joxhaus presented a surprised look while I am in a state of awe.

Joxhaus: " _...you can't be serious... no... not acceptable._ "

Monika: "I... I am serious. I'm worried for Josh's safety... and I don't exactly trust  _ **you**_  being around him! I'm staying... like it or not."

Well... things sure escalated quickly... but, I think I understand where Monika is coming from... she's scared of losing me... Just like from the game. She was afraid of losing the only other "real" person in her simulation. The only person she could love... I was honestly flattered and I felt... really happy to hear that coming from her. But to hear her distrusting my Nobody...? I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean... I get it, most people I could imagine, don't fully understand "Nobodies"... but even so... we're basically, the same person... just two separate halves of me... and even Joxhaus vaguely explained that when I returned to this world. I think Monika sees him as a stranger or a threat in this reality... I can feel the tension rising between them... I'm probably going to have to explain the details with Monika about him later...

Joxhaus: " _... Fine..._ _Say what you will... I'm going to go sleep in the other bedroom... And you two better behave or I swear..._ "

He started walking out of the room as he was saying that. He sounded slightly annoyed with Monika and I... either that or he was just disgusted with us... Monika was still holding onto me on the floor and we were looking at each other for a moment blushing a bit and unsure of how to respond to that.

Josh: "Uh... perhaps we should sleep too... and I'm not letting you sleep on the floor... or the couch..."

Monika: "E-eh? A-Are you suggesting... we... sleep together...?"

Josh: "I mean... would that be a problem...?"

Monika: "A-ah... well... no... but... I've just never done that before..."

Josh: "Well... you aren't the only one... but like I said before... I'm not letting you sleep on the floor or on the couch or anything..."

Monika: "A-Alright... well if that's the case... I'm going to get changed into my PJ's... No peeking... Alright?"

Josh: "Knowing you, I thought you'd probably want that..."

Monika: "Hehe...  _not yet_..."

We both got up from the floor and I sit on my bed and she wanders off into the upstairs bathroom for a few minutes. In the meantime, I change into PJ's of my own, which mainly consists of sweatpants and a tee shirt. (Yes, I'm a very simple person) Soon after I changed, Monika returned out of the bathroom wearing pink PJ's and holding her school clothes. I tried not to stare at her and I got in bed. I planned on sleeping closer to the wall.

Monika: "So are you sure you're alright with me sleeping next to you...?"

Josh: "mhm... I'm sure... and I promise I won't do anything sketchy while we're sleeping."

Monika: "Mmm... you better not! You might regret it~!"

Josh: "I said I promise I won't!"

Monika: "Hehe~ I know silly... but I  **am**  serious... one wrong move... and this hand will go right across your face mister!"

Josh: "Alright, alright! I believe you..."

Monika: "Hehe~ good... now behave and let's get some sleep... okay?"

Josh: "Okay... The morning will be here before you know it..."

Monika turned off the light to the room and she slipped into bed next to me but we were keeping our distance for the time being. I closed my eyes for the moment but I couldn't sleep right away... I had so many thoughts roaming through my mind. Monika turned toward me for a moment and our eyes met once more... But for some reason this moment almost felt intimate.

Monika: "Hey Josh...?"

Josh: "Hmm... yeah?"

Monika: "A-are you sure this is okay? I mean... for me to be sleeping with you...?"

Josh: "I'm sure this is okay Monika. I mean... we already know how we feel about each other... and like I said already. I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor or the couch... besides... Joxhaus is already taking the other bedroom and I'd rather be with you when I sleep... by the way... speaking of which... You seem rather, uneasy with him... why is that if I may ask?"

Monika: "Well... when that strange anomaly happened... and you got hurt to the point of being booted out of my world... I noticed another character was added to the world... So, when I saw you on the floor, I thought that he... might have hurt you or worse! So... how can I just trust some random stranger who was probably the product of that horrible test that nearly killed you!? Ah... Sorry, I was rambling a little bit... But something about him just seems... I don't know... off. Like, he's just unsettling."

I kind of felt a little hurt by what she said... I mean, I get it... That side of me is extremely unsettling to experience in person. I know I can be a little scary, especially when I'm in a bad mood... or if my depression takes over my mind. Since Joxhaus is literally my living embodiment of all my negative emotions, I can fully understand Monika's mistrust of him... but in the end, he's still a part of me.

Josh: "Well... like he briefly mentioned... he... is a part of me... a part of me that is rarely seen... he's made up of all my negative emotions and feelings such as my depression and self-hatred... so, I'm sorry if he's a bit... disturbing... I promise he's not nearly as bad as he seems... he can be an ass at times, but I know he's not all bad..."

Monika: "I really hope so... but, I don't think I can bring myself to trust him yet though... even if he is a part of you... I'm sorry..."

Josh: "Monika... I really don't blame you for feeling that way... if I was in your perspective, I could totally understand. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense... but just give him time... but for now, we should try to get some rest, okay?"

Monika: "Alright... sleep well okay, sweetheart?"

Josh: "You too... my love...good night..."

Monika: "Hehe... good night~"

After that we were both blushing... Monika rolled over on her side now facing away from me and I decided to lay on my back. I'm not sure if I'll be able to actually sleep... but I need to try. The whole "day" in general has just been hectic. Or in some cases a rollercoaster of different things. Everything up to this evening was pretty fucking awesome. This world is just as beautiful as some of the "top-of-the-line" virtual reality simulations I've ever seen. Monika, Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki all seem so real now as well... they all act and respond like actual humans rather than simulated characters following a basic script. They respond clearly to more casual conversations or responses.

I know this isn't a perfect simulation... Monika is still considered a "god" in this world and could have the potential to kill anyone if she truly wanted to. However, that aside, with this simulation being more complex and past the game itself, I believe that Monika doesn't feel threatened by her fears of having me being taken away by the other girls anymore. She doesn't have to feel alone anymore either... but, with that in mind... How will the other girls react if they find out my feelings for Monika? And on top of that, Joxhaus is now going to be roaming around the simulation on his own accord? Will any more pain-staking glitches happen while I'm back in here again? I feel my anxiety kicking in... I don't think this simulation is going to go as well as I hoped... but I have to keep a positive mindset or else it's just going eat me alive from the inside out. Well I wanted this to get interesting, right? Well lucky me. I got more than what I initially bargained for.

I felt a lot of worry... but ever since my traumatizing experience this evening... I've been feeling flat out exhausted. My eyes were sore, and my head felt like it was splitting... My last worry for the evening before falling asleep though... I REALLY hope I don't ruin Monika's sleep with my snoring... I mean, I know this is virtual reality and not all the details for me are one to one... but I'm going to feel awfully embarrassed if I do wake her up due to my snoring... Monika seems fast asleep and I can hear a very soft and a very quiet snore coming from her... it's actually kind of cute! A small smile runs across my face before I initially pass out myself...

All is quiet in my mind, without Joxhaus being in my head... it's... almost kind of weird not having any dreams now or anyone to talk to in order to occupy my thoughts while I'm asleep... just silence... it's peaceful, but at the same time, it's still just so weird to me...

Hours passed... even though to me it felt like only a couple of minutes...

I hearing my alarm clock going off, granted, I'm still in the simulation. The simulation gives you a watch on your wrist to keep track of time like a " _normal_ " person would; it even came with a wake-up alarm. Then again, I was never " _normal_ " to begin with. I would have rather relied on my cell phone waking me up. Regardless, the morning was here... and like typical me, I REALLY struggled to get up and moving in the morning. I did put the alarm on snooze... about twice... or three times. I turn my head to the right and I hear a softly moaning Monika waking up next to me... she was... a little closer than I remember... and by closer she was actually cuddled up next to my arm. It was actually kind of adorable. Her eyes opened up slowly and she was looking up at me and smiling.

Monika: "Ehehe... good morning Josh..."

I softly yawned and I still felt awfully exhausted and I smiled back at her, still half asleep.

Josh: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... good morning, Monika... sleep well?"

Monika: "Hehe... I did... how about you...?"

Josh: "Well... I could have slept a little longer... but I have to get up, don't I?"

Monika: "Mhm... we have school in the next hour and a half sleepy head~ Get your butt up~"

Monika starts to playfully pull me up out of bed and she gets up and stretches for a moment. Afterwards she takes her school uniform and heads towards the bathroom.

Monika: "I'm going to get changed. You better get your uniform on too!"

Josh: "Oooooooooookay..."

I'm still tired so I sound like an absolute sleepy goofball. Monika giggles at me as she closes the door to the bathroom and I "attempt" to get my uniform on. Since I feel so tired I'm just a little slow in the morning. I managed to get my uniform pants, socks and shirt on, but Monika already beats me and exits the bathroom and re-enters my room.

Monika: "Hehe... having problems?"

Josh: "Nah... just slow when I'm tired."

Monika just giggles at my again as I get my blazer on. Monika picks up my uniform tie. I stand up and stretch a bit myself and I yawn loudly and Monika gets in front of me and pokes my forehead.

Monika: "Stop it~ Wake up sleepy butt~ And hold still... I'm going to help you with your tie..."

My cheeks flushed a bit pink and I allowed her to put my tie on my uniform. Afterwards she was staring at me in my uniform for a moment and smiled. I was curious as to what she was thinking...

Josh: "...yes?"

Monika: "O-oh nothing! You just look really good in uniform is all~"

Josh: "Uh-huh... And so do you..."

Monika: "Ehehe... such a sweetheart, aren't you...?"

Joxhaus: " _...Ahem..._ "

Both Monika and I jump at the sound of Joxhaus interrupting our moment. We both turned to the entrance of the room where he was standing in the doorway. I don't even think he took off his black coat... his arms were folded and I imagined he was annoyed with us being all lovey-dovey again... but I didn't care... I was happy with my decision.

Joxhaus: " _If you two are about done... breakfast is ready and it'll be waiting for you on the kitchen counter..._ "

Monika: "…"

Josh: "Alright... we'll be down in a moment."

Joxhaus: " _… alright, well don't take forever._ "

He walked away, returning downstairs, leaving Monika and I in the room feeling a little awkward, but I have been in worse situations... Monika seemed rather disturbed by what just happened.

Josh: "Are... you okay?"

Monika: "Does... he always do that...? Or should I ask, have  _you_  always done that...?"

Josh: "I did that very rarely growing up... I was always very quiet and would sometimes appear behind people and they weren't expecting it... sorry."

Monika: "It's fine... just... scared the living hell out of me. Doesn't he know how to fucking knock?"

Josh: "Well... the door wasn't exactly closed either... but it's whatever... come on, let's go get breakfast before Sayori ends up knocking at my door again."

I'm not sure if Monika was really satisfied by my response, but we retreated downstairs and to our surprise, there was a full-course breakfast set for both of us. My Nobody was sitting on the couch, half-asleep as well. He looked like he might fall back asleep at any minute, but his focus came back since we were in his presence. Monika and I started to eat the breakfast he made for us. It was good and as far as I could tell Monika wasn't complaining either. I could still sense she didn't exactly trust him, but this is a nice way to start the day... Although I'm still not sure why he went out of his way to do this...

Josh: "You realize you didn't have to do this, right?"

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... I know... but I really don't care to listen to your logic right now. So just enjoy it..._ "

Monika: "So... why did you make us breakfast?"

Joxhaus: " _Because I know lazy-ass over there probably wouldn't have woken up in time to make it himself..._ "

Josh: "Hey...! I resent that!"

Joxuhas: " _Again... does it look like I care?_ "

Monika started to get a little agitated with his attitude and I could really tell she was trying her hardest not to say anything she might regret...

Monika: "Well... aren't you a part of him? So, wouldn't you also be a contributing factor to being a 'lazy-ass'?"

Joxhaus moved his head over towards us. His expression seemed unphased by her comment, but I could see it in his eyes: a small spark of anger.

Joxhaus: " _Not really sure why that's your concern all of a sudden... But as far as you **should**  be concerned... I am much more responsible and logical than my other half... and since I can tell you're trying to stand up for him, just know I have a heavy sense of 'cold' sarcasm. So, try not to take everything I say so seriously..._"

Monika: "…"

I place my hand on Monika's... trying to signal her to calm down. The air in the room felt very heavy... it was tense between him and Monika... I know he's sarcastic but his cold and sometimes casual tone always makes it difficult to determine whether he's being serious or not.

Joxhaus: " _So... what are your plans for today...?_ "

Josh: "Resuming school and progressing the day like normal?"

Joxhaus: " _…alright, that's fine._ "

Josh: "And what about you?"

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... depends... maybe research, if I'm up for it._ "

He slowly stood up and stretched. He chose not to look at us and he turned away from us and he put up his hood. Monika and I finished up breakfast and I put the dishes away in the sink for now. Monika only continued glaring at him. Neither of them were moving.

Josh: "Going somewhere?"

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... yeah. I'm going to start looking around the world. Doing little tests of my own... I'll be around I guess. I'll see you all later perhaps... Don't wait up._ "

As soon as his sentence finished an unusual wave of darkness surrounded him in an oval shape and it disappeared... Now  **that** , was unusual. Monika and I sat in the room in silence for a moment.

Monika: "So... he knows how to teleport in my world now?"

Josh: "Yeah... that's something I always wanted to do in these virtual worlds, but I know making it work is very complicated and sometimes dangerous... and if I recall his character file is based off of an error code that was part of that glitched test... So it wouldn't surprise me if he managed to find little cheat-steps in the simulation's code. Even if it's just something as simple as short-distance teleportation."

Monika: "So am I still wrong to assume he's evil?"

Josh: "Well... am I evil?"

Monika: "Well... no. You're too much of a sweetheart to be bad. But... he  _is_  everything that's negative about you."

Josh: "And I'm fairly certain 'evil' is not one of those things. A cold asshole maybe, but not evil."

Monika: "Yeah... but he even called you a 'lazy-ass'! Just... UGH! he just makes me want to punch him just from that comment alone."

Josh: "...Well... remember... part of that is just my self-hatred talking... and like he said... 'don't take it seriously'"

Monika sighed lightly and pressed her forehead into my chest.

Monika: "Alright, I'll try not to let him get to me... I'm sorry, Josh."

Josh: "It's okay Monika, I forgive you. Now... do you think Sayori will break if she sees you with me coming out of my house?"

Monika: "Yeah, I thought about that too. I checked the simulation... chances of that happening are actually high. Just because this simulation still runs a set or expected 'script'. The day's events still need to roll on track as they normally should or else... the simulation breaks apart."

Josh: "Alright... well could I see you in school then?"

Monika: "If the script allows it... then possibly. But I won't be able to find out until we get there. So, let's go about our day like normal and see how it goes, alright?"

Josh: "Sounds good."

We get our shoes on and prepare to leave the house. Monika stops me before I go and kisses my cheek and my cheeks flush pink again.

Monika: "I'm going to teleport myself from here... I'll see you at school alright~? I love you~"

Josh: "Alright, I'll see you later Monika. I love you too~"

As soon as I finished my sentence she smiled and waved as a flash of light blinded me and she disappeared from my sight. I still find that astonishing... every time.

I make my way out the door and start walking out to school and surprisingly as soon as I start walking past Sayori's house, Sayori opens the door and leaves her home while walking towards me with some toast in her mouth. She starts waving and saying "Hey!" From a distance. However, she's muffling herself with the toast so I can't help but laugh as she hops toward me.

Josh: "haha~ Sayori, swallow your food before you speak."

Sayori: "Ehehe~ Sorry! Breakfast to go for the win!"

Josh: "Did you sleep well last night?"

Sayori: "Mhm... for the most part. But what about you? You look like an exhausted train-wreck Josh! Did you stay up watching anime again?"

Josh: "N-no... I didn't. I promise!"

Sayori: "Ehehe! I'm just kidding Josh. I know you're not THAT irresponsible... but... I could have sworn I heard something weird last night."

Josh: "Weird...? What do you mean?"

Sayori: "Well I thought I was asleep when I heard it so I really don't know if it was a dream or real but I swear... I thought I heard a loud scream last night... it sounded like someone was in a lot of pain..."

Josh: "O-oh... I see..."

Sayori: "Yeah, but the news this morning didn't report anything happening overnight so I think I was just hearing things... or maybe my house is haunted!"

Josh: "Ahaha... Nah Sayori I think you're just delusional. Ahaha..."

Sayori: "Uwa! Hey! Josh! That's SUPER mean!"

Sayori shoves me and starts to pout at me while crossing her arms. I think I might have made her a little mad at me... But I know she's a sweetheart and I think she knows I didn't really mean it.

Josh: "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I'm sorry!"

Sayori: "You better be! I'll kick your butt if you're not!"

Josh: "I really am sorry. Have mercy!"

Sayori: "Ehehe... aww I forgive you~"

Sayori gave me a hug and we kept walking to school. I felt super uneasy from that whole situation though. I think a pit grew in my stomach... Sayori probably heard me screaming from last night's... issue. But I'm glad she isn't aware of my problems... I'd much rather keep things as simple as possible. I don't want to over-complicate anything right now. But since that conversation, I started to grow more quiet... anxious... and uneasy. And Sayori took notice of it as we approached school. She stopped me before entering and she made me look into her deep blue eyes.

Sayori: "Hey Josh...?"

Josh: "Yeah...?"

Sayori: "Is everything okay...? You don't seem okay..."

Josh: "Yeah I'm alright... just a little tired today is all."

Sayori: "Are you sure...? If anything is bothering you... you know you can tell me, right?"

Josh: "I know... and I promise you'll be the first person I talk to about it."

Sayori: "...pinky promise?"

Sayori might be a goofball in her own little way but she truly does care about me as an individual. And like in the game she only cared about the MC's happiness over her own. Which isn't a good thing, but it's not a bad thing either. I honestly wished I had someone like her in my time through high school... depression was kind of difficult for me then... but, it makes me happy to see how genuine she's being to me now. I hold out my pinky finger and wrap it around her and I smile.

Josh: "Pinky promise."

Sayori: "Ehehe... thanks Josh. I'll cya at the club later today, okay?"

Josh: "Alright Sayori. Have a good day with classes."

Sayori: "You too sleepy butt~ Ehehe~"

Sayori trots off into school and waving at me as she darts off into the halls and to her classroom. I remember the first classroom I had entered on the first day so I had no need for the run command program right now for the navigation program... and I really didn't want to try it after last night's incident either. For now, I'll keep it on hold and I'll try to get through the day without it. I manage to make it to my first class and I let out a sigh that mixed into a yawn and I could only feel myself slowly falling asleep in the first class.

As soon as the bell rang and the class started I immediately realized something important! Shit, shit, SHIT! I FORGOT TO WRITE A POEM FOR TODAY!

* * *

_Next Chapter: The Eye of the Storm_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Well, well, well, we finally made it to the end of Chapter 5. Thank you all so much for reading this far.
> 
> So to sum up what happened here...
> 
> \- Josh, Monika and Joxhaus are still trying to process what in the hell happened from the "test incident" in Chapter 4.
> 
> \- With no clear answers and Monika having an extreme distrust of Josh's Nobody, they all decide to call it a day.
> 
> \- Josh and Monika discusses her distrust of Joxhaus. Josh is understanding of Monika's perspective even though her opinion hurt him personally.
> 
> \- Josh reflects on his time in the simulation so far. (Only took 5 chapters to get through one day... yeeeeesh)
> 
> \- Morning comes, Monika pushes Josh to wake up, they have a short-lived romantic moment, ruined by Joxhaus who was creeping on them quietly.
> 
> \- Joxhaus, being exhausted as well from the morning, acts rude and crabby even though he prepped a breakfast meal for Monika and Josh. Since he is the embodiment of Josh's self-hatred, he calls "himself" a "lazy-ass" but it's morally directed at Josh.
> 
> \- His comment makes Monika become frustrated with Joxhaus' attitude and cold sense of sarcasm.
> 
> \- Joxhaus calmly explains to Monika that she shouldn't take what he says seriously but immediately leaves them by teleporting after a short discussion of their plans for today.
> 
> \- Monika's distrust of Joxhaus is heightened after he teleports but she promises Josh she won't let Joxhaus get to her, even if he's an ass at times.
> 
> \- They both leave for school. (Monika leaves via teleporting) And Josh meets Sayori outside for day 2.
> 
> \- Sayori mentions she might have heard Josh's scream from the events of the "test incident" from Chapter 4 and she also notices Josh's fatigue and anxiety visibly affecting him. She questions him if he's okay. Josh had to dismiss her concerns for the time being, not wanting to over-complicate the situation he was already in.
> 
> I hope you all are continuing this story so far. I hope to continue this story to an appropriate conclusion. Until next time.
> 
>  
> 
> -Joxhaus


	6. The Eye of the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR NOTE: There are dark themes and a few trigger warnings ahead. But enjoy.

* * *

 

"Most days, I know you can't hear me.

Most days, I know you'll never see my expressions.

Most days, I know you can't always be there for me in my troubling moments.

How long will it be before I can actually see you?

Will I ever be able to see your smile in person?

Will I ever be able to see your happiness?

Or be there for you when you need it most?

Will I ever be able to embrace you and finally experience love with you?

Or be left behind in my own reality?

We are just two separate people... trapped behind a screen in two separate worlds."

-  _ **Joxhaus (Author)**_

* * *

Starting off this new day could have gone a little bit smoother... I'm still exhausted from the "test incident" last night... but getting to sleep next to Monika was a nice little way to end the first day... and waking up next to her sure felt heart-warning as well... I just wished I could have savored the moment a bit more... It's kind of funny. From the short time I have spent with her so far... I guess you could say I can feel myself slowly falling in love with her... and to be honest, this is something I haven't felt in quite a long time. In a way, it makes me happy, but at the same time I don't want to fuck anything up with her... I've had too many memories and instances where I've messed up... and I ended up being broken and alone... Ah... stop it! No reminiscing on past memories and pain. Holding onto past pains will only drag down my spirits. I gotta get this poem written...:

"How long has it been, since I've seen this light?

I have been burdened, by my shadows, my pains.

It took me so long to see, the issues in my sight.

Darkness has kept me bound to the grounds,

But you brought me back up... You complete me,

you're my guiding light, in my darkness. "

Sheesh... I never knew my writing ended up so cheesy... but hey, I guess this is better than a bunch of disjointed words. I only sigh to myself looking at the half-assed excuse for a poem and I decide to hide it away in my sketch pad for the time being. And while this first class is still continuing I decide to draw a little bit until the first class ends. I wasn't sure what to draw at first... but I eventually started to draw myself as an anime character, and as my boredom grew the more I became lost in my drawing. I eventually stopped my quick sketch of me and switched gears to try and draw Monika and the other girls out of just pure thought... UGH! It's so much more difficult to draw them when I can't actually see them. I am very much aware of what they look like, but even some artists need their live models to work from... Or I could just stylize them to an anime style? That might just end up weird though... Well, whatever... just to pass the time at least. I start drawing all of us in the stylized anime style that I've practiced in the past... honestly, after the first class ended it didn't look too bad. It was a little messy but it's a quick sketch, I can't be perfect with a limited time frame.

The bell signaled for the next class and I proceeded to my next destination without having to use the run command sequence placed in my eye. The little Navigation tool that was provided will always be a nice little asset for me, but since the "test incident" I am unsure if I'll use the functions just yet... I can't risk corrupting the simulation at all or putting myself in another hellish pain incident. I try not to think about it as best I can... but aside from being tired, I can only worry...

Josh: "I wonder how everyone else is doing...?"

I know Monika seems fine, only slightly annoyed with my Nobody... but will Sayori be okay as the days progress? What about Natsuki and Yuri? Everyone has their own issues but, I am still unsure of how close the simulation will portray their behaviors as the days continue onward... And how can I not worry about Joxhaus? My living embodiment of negativity and emptiness? I feel like his presence might negatively affect the others if he's not careful... but maybe I'm worrying too much... I've already been proven wrong that this simulation is much more advanced from the original game itself. Even Monika appears to have full sentience and control over herself as well as the simulation... So, maybe I shouldn't worry so much...

The day progressed onward and my worries started to die down a bit and I managed to make it to lunch. Like I did the previous day, I picked out a lunch I would like and purchased it. I looked around for a place to sit in the lunchroom and I noticed Yuri sitting by herself at a table in the complete opposite side of the lunchroom, practically adjacent from where I was sitting yesterday. Now if there's one thing I won't tolerate, it's someone sitting by themselves at lunch... and I know Yuri is not a very sociable individual. Realistically she's like me, an introvert. As I approached her she seemed pretty focused in on a book she was reading while slowly feeding herself her own organized lunch. I hate having to snap her out of her trance, but I don't want her to feel weird with me sitting with her and not realizing it.

Josh: "Uh... hey Yuri...? Do you mind if I join you here...?"

Yuri: "…"

Josh: "Yuuuuuuri? Hellooooooo?"

I wave my hand in front of her eyes for a moment and she suddenly snapped out of her trance. She even jumped a little bit, but she became embarrassed from zoning out again.

Yuri: "O-oh... H-hi there Josh... I didn't know you were trying to get my attention... I-I'm so sorry."

Josh: "It's okay Yuri, don't worry about it... I noticed you were focused on your reading... but do you mind if I join you here for lunch?"

Yuri: "O-oh... Uh... N-not at all! I would like that actually..."

Josh: "Are you sure? I won't bother you if you'd like to continue reading."

Yuri: "Oh... umm... no, it's okay. I can continue this later."

Josh: "Well, alright then..."

I start to eat my own lunch and I try to engage with Yuri a bit in conversation. And I know Yuri is a total bookworm so I could at least ask her about some of her favorite authors as a conversation starter.

Josh: "So Yuri... do you have any favorite authors?"

Yuri: "A-ah... w-well I have a lot of favorite authors but since I've been reading a lot of horror lately... I-I've been really into English novels written by Stephen King and Joe Hill..."

Josh: "So... books like 'The Shining' and 'Heart Shaped Box'?"

Yuri: "Mhm! I-I've actually just finished 'Heart Shaped Box' not too long ago. And I do hope to get myself 'The Shining' soon as well."

Josh: "Yeah... it's a fascinating read. I think you'll love it..."

I'm not really trying to... "sway" Yuri into my direction or anything... but she is pretty cute as well... I noticed since we were talking about literature, she wasn't nearly as apprehensive as she seemed, but I'm happy to see her open up a little bit... however, due to my tired state I can't help but yawn a bit while we talk... my own exhaustion is preventing me from keeping a proper conversation and I feel a little bad about it. I don't want her to think I'm being rude by yawning in our conversation...

Yuri: "Josh... I apologize for asking but are you okay? You seem rather exhausted..."

Josh: "Yeah... I'm okay... I just didn't really sleep well last night... sorry... don't worry about me."

Yuri: "A-Ah... I see... please, try not to push yourself too much today. Sleep deprivation and stress isn't good for your mental health... but do try to get to bed earlier if you're able to. It might be beneficial for you..."

Josh: "Ah... well... thank you for caring Yuri... I'll do what I can..."

Yuri giggled lightly to herself and turned her head away, hiding her face in her hair... I noticed her smiling but she still seemed a little reserved, but I was happy to see she was okay with talking to me for a little bit... even if it was just idle chatter on horror novels and as our conversation came to a close the bell chimed and Yuri stood up collecting her belongings, almost in a rush. I wasn't fully sure due to being half-asleep, but I still think she's a bit anxious being around others... and maybe a little bit more anxious from being around me... the "player".

Josh: "Um, I'll see you later at the club alright...?"

Yuri: "Oh... u-uh... a-alright...! S-see you later...!"

Yuri seemed a little flustered again, still fairly shy. She nearly rushed out from the cafeteria before I even stood up from the table. I sighed to myself, cleaned up my meal and continued on with my day. It's fascinating how accurate her character really is... I mean, she's not nearly as reserved as in the original game, but she's certainly extremely introverted... but in this simulation, she is capable of normal conversation... as long as it's something she's okay with talking about. So, I guess all in all it's pretty close. I managed to reach my next couple of classes and I felt like sleeping... it was pretty boring to the point of just passing out... but I feel like the extra time was intentionally left in the simulation so users can utilize the functions given to us like the navigation program and the run commands... perhaps I should stop worrying so much and try to use them again and see if they still function?

I attempted to use these thoughts to bring the internal menu selection again. I noticed it was also slightly updated. Giving me various different options now. One being the internal GPS like I had used prior to starting his first day. I had the option to access logs from things that happened. I even had a very vague task note in the corner of the text box options. "Proceed with the day! Impress your fellow club members during the club or at school today!" I felt that note implied I could possibly see any one of them during my activities during school. I guess that would make a lot of sense why I randomly saw Yuri today in the lunch room by herself. Aside from that I still haven't seen Monika for the majority of the day... She said she would try to see if the game would allow us to be together during school, even for a little bit, but I am going to guess that the "Script for the day" is preventing her from doing so... at least for right now. I have a sneaking suspicion that she might try to alter the game script again so she can see me again during the day... unless she has an option set up for her at some point? There's no way to tell at the moment, and I really don't feel like decoding the game script itself... that's just too much work to do. I would have to disconnect from the simulation and run through the game script manually through my computer and even then, I doubt I will be able to find a direct answer... I would much rather see how everything plays out.

There isn't much else listed currently in this internal menu that is still in my sights... specifically in my left eye. I looked over the remaining options listed in the menu. "Resume", "Save progress", "Load progress", "Run GPS", "Archive logs", "Options", "Administrative options", "Check for updates" and finally "Exit simulation"... This was an unusual set of menu options... but I guess I've seen worse.

The first thing I decided to check was the "Check for updates" option. It ran a run command window... which worried me a little bit. The command box text only said "searching for updates" for about a minute or two, and finally came up to say "No updates found". Perhaps I might be expecting updates later on? It's too soon to say for something like that. This simulation is still impressive regardless. I go back to the menu and check on the "Administrative options" this time. I'm greeted with another command box, asking for a username and key for entry... sad to say but no luck on looking into administrative options. I back out once more and check on the "Archive logs"... I imagine there won't be much information that will be important to me in understanding this simulation's flaws but I should at least check... but I should also be careful.

Similarly, to the original game... you could scroll back through events and dialog that happened between your character and everyone else. So. I could basically look back at everything that's happened so far. I doubt that searching back on the test incident will help solve anything to what happened but I am curious to know if the archive logs picked it up... and if it did I'm curious to know what it says... maybe it will give me something to work off of. I scrolled back casually through most of today's events to far and entering to last night's events... all of the archive logs have been one hundred percent accurate, and it even acknowledges Joxhaus being an actual character in the game... That much on its own was a little unsettling... but as I reached a point where there should be a "test error code" or something along those lines... there was a lot of random letter vomit:

RXJyb3IgY29kZSAzOTogdGVzdCBzdWJqZWN0IHVucmVzcG9uc2l2ZSBkdWUgdG8gc3lzdGVtIG1hbGZ1bmN0aW9uLS0gdW5rbm93biBjYXVzZS4NCi8vLw0KLi4uDQpOZXcgc3ViamVjdCBmb3VuZCBpbiB0aGUgc2ltdWxhdGlvbi0tDQovLy8NCi0tZXh0cmFjdGluZyBhZGRpdGlvbnMgdG8gY2hhcmFjdGVyIGZpbGVzLg==

And above it was the time code where the test initialized itself... but something about this text was off everything else was fairly normal for the most part. Up to the "test incident" the letter vomit code was glitching out a bit shifting awkwardly and even changing styles from bold, normal, or italics randomly.

I stared at it a bit too long... trying to figure out what could have possibly caused this to happen? On top of everything else that's already happened... even after the patch? I guess this is all connected in some way, but how? A simulation shouldn't have this many issues with it... especially if it harms the user inside the simulation!

The moment I started overthinking this situation, the "Archive logs" completely crashed and exited out on its own. It scared me since it made a zapping sound and I felt that all too familiar zap in my eye again. It didn't hurt as much as it did yesterday, but I could feel a strong headache coming on. I had to nearly brace my head in my hands.

Josh: "Gah..! Motherfu..."

I had to keep my keep my voice down to not draw attention of the other NPC's... I mean... I don't think they would necessarily care, since they wouldn't interact with me... but you never know what surprises might come around... I could see the simulation freaking out again. The environment was glitching apart... but was it really falling apart or was it just my imagination? In my left eye, everything looks like a glitched out horror show. While my right eye... watering up from the pain and stress... sees everything normally. I saw some NPC's turning their heads towards me... it was the simulation generating a reaction reflex from my actions.

In my left eye everything was glitching. My head was pounding more and more as the glitches increased. The faces looking toward me were twisted, distorted... eyes were missing or glowing. Some necks and limbs on their bodies were also broken at an unusual angle. My heart rate was accelerating at a terrifying pace. But fortunately for me the bell signaled for the end of the school day... Everyone started to leave thankfully but my body was aching and the pain in my head was burning up even more. I managed to take hold of my belongings but I had to hold my head in my hand as I left more. The pain wouldn't go away, it kept rising... a high-pitched ringing noise was returning as well... I couldn't help but groan from all of this, the groans started to shift into screams from how much my eyes and my head were hurting.

I started to rush my way down the hallway. I didn't care who was standing in my way. I needed to get to the restroom, at least I won't be making too much of a scene. Or... at least that's what I hoped for at least. I didn't notice on the way, I apparently bumped into Natsuki on the way.

Natsuki: "H-HEY! Watch where you're fucking go- ...Josh..?"

I didn't really stop to talk to her, I was too focused on dealing with my agony... I felt like my head was splitting in two. I could feel tears going down my face from bad it's getting... They were dripping along the floor. It was pretty noticeable for anyone who might have been paying attention. I felt my face for a minute to wipe away the tears... things only seemed to get worse... I wiped away blood from my left eye...

Josh: "B-blood...? What the... hell...?"

This new addition only made me hurry faster to the restroom. I could barely keep up with this pain... however, I endured it and made into the restroom in one piece. I tried to think about any possible solutions to fix this... I tried to reopen the run command window in order to see if I could disable the program doing this to me or do something. I couldn't get anything to respond. I tried to keep myself calm even though the pain was starting to get unbearable.

This entire situation... it reminds me of the very small instance where you can get "blood vision" in Doki Doki Literature Club's original game... It was a rare chance while progressing the second phase of the game. I remember getting it on my first play-through of the game and it was more or less terrifying. And since it was specifically on act 2 of the game's "story", does this mean that the simulation is already pushing me into the "madness" phase? That's not right... Sayori is still alive and well... as well as the rest of the girls... so why is this even happening? What is this simulation hiding?

I can only think about the bigger picture for so long before the agony returned to my eyes. More blood starts to streak down my face and my initial instinct was to wash off the blood from the school bathroom sinks and I even went as far as pouring some cold water into my eyes. It helped combat the stinging pain, even if it wasn't the best idea... For a split second the environment glitches out again. I see another text box appear in the corner of my distorted vision...

* * *

"Core system reset... Admin authorization and verification:"

"..."

"Admin M acknowledged"

"User core system reset start"

* * *

Josh: "Admin 'M'? ...Monika..."

The world in my field of vision start to glitch out more and suddenly it glitched back to normal. The pain started going away slowly and I started to calm down from my hyperventilation. There were still some stains of blood in my eyes, but I decided to get my face cleaned up before leaving. I think I spent about a good fifteen minutes trying to clean my eyes and my face.

My head still felt like it was in a daze or even fuzzy, and another possible traumatic experience is now noted. I don't think this was part of the "Doki Doki" experience... Granted glitching and weird psychological changes are one thing, but physically harming the user in the simulation? That isn't how Doki Doki Literature Club is supposed to go. Something about all this just seems off... But for right now I can't even bring myself to think about that. I'm utterly drained from what just occurred.

But if Monika figured out how to stop this... maybe she found a way to fix the issue? Or is that too much wishful thinking? I know she's far more advanced in this simulation than the original game... but even then, there are some barriers that can't always be crossed. After cleaning myself up I took one more look in the mirror... my left eye was miserably bloodshot... This probably wasn't going to go unnoticed by Monika and the other... but sadly there isn't much that can be done. All I know is... I believe the worst of the storm is over.

Upon leaving... I was greeted with two familiar faces...

Sayori: "Josh...!? Are you okay?"

Natsuki: "Jesus Christ, Josh?! What the hell happened to you!? You literally scared me for a good minute."

Well... this isn't exactly what I had in mind when leaving the bathroom... but since leaving the last class, Natsuki must have been worried out of her mind after seeing me rush to the bathroom in pain like that... She must have gotten Sayori from the clubroom since she's my "best friend" and all. But this is only going to complicate things if both of them are worrying over me.

Josh: "Oh... umm hey you two... what are you doing over here...? Aren't you guys supposed to be at the Literature club right now?"

Natsuki: "Well... yeah... but you ran into me like an idiot... without even saying 'sorry' you dummy... but I'll forgive you this once since you looked like you were in pain..."

Sayori: "Yeah, Natsuki told me you rushed off to the bathroom, looking like you were injured... So, I bolted down here as fast as I could. I told Monika I was going to retrieve you since you were running late, but since Natsuki told me the extra news... well... seeing how you are now, you look like an absolute wreck. We're going to the Nurse's office! Like it or not!"

Josh: "Nurse's Office!? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm fine, I'm fine! We don't need to get out of hand over something that may not even be serious!"

Only a second after my protest I felt a hand slam into the back of my head. Damn, Natsuki can hit hard for being the smallest girl in this simulation.

Natsuki: "BAKA! No buts mister! You're going to the Nurse's office with Sayori and you don't get a say in the matter, got it?"

Josh: "OW! You didn't have to hit so hard!"

Natsuki: "Then don't be stubborn, idiot! ...jeez, you're making us worry so much today..."

Josh: "...sorry..."

Natsuki: "Well, whatever. I'm gonna head back up to the club. I'm going to inform Monika and Yuri about what's happening. Just get your butts back to the club when you get the ice pack okay?"

Sayori: "Sounds good! Come on dingus~! We're gonna go on an adventure to get you an ice pack!"

Sayori still trying to be as cheerful as ever about the situation starts dragging me away by my arm and I sigh out of slight agitation; Natsuki seems a bit annoyed by my stubbornness but I truly don't want them to worry for me, she walks back to the stairway back up to the third floor. I really hope Monika is okay with waiting on me like this... I'm sure she'll be understanding of the circumstances... but with the current events added so far I make another note of the simulation, yet muttering a lot of it to myself as Sayori and I walk down the hallway.

Josh: "So the simulation can dictate the character's additional actions based on users' physical pain or actions... if noticed..."

Sayori: "Hmm? Did you say something?"

Josh: "Nah... just spouting random things to myself."

Sayori: "Ehehe... you always do that randomly. It's kinda funny actually."

Josh: "Heh... yeah... so where's the Nurse's Office again?"

Sayori: "Wow, do you really live under a rock Josh? I thought you knew the school layout better than I did. Hehe~"

Josh: "Uh, I never got sick or injured until today so... come on, cut me some slack here..."

Sayori: "Fine, fine. It's in the middle of the school, thankfully not that far."

Josh: "Juuuuuuuuuust making sure."

We reach a door in the middle of the hallway, and the sign above it states "Nurse's Office". Pretty plain as day from the looks of it. Upon entering there was only one nurse-like NPC at the reception desk. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, another familiar voice comes from behind us.

?: " _Well, well, well, what brings you to the medical ward Josh? Did you finally break your skull on the desk falling asleep today?_ "

We both turn around to face our unexpected guest... Of all the places I wasn't expecting, Joxhaus was here at the school... and this almost seems too convenient... The unsettling tone of voice and sentence alone didn't nearly surprise me but Sayori was bewildered by how this "stranger" was treating me, right off the bat. What surprised me was the fact that my Nobody was actually wearing a school uniform... he must be using a spare that I had at home that the simulation provides. Since we literally have the same figure it would probably fit him just as easily. This has to be a disguise meant for passing over suspicion by the other NPC's and characters like Sayori.

Sayori: "Say Josh... do you know him? He kinda looks a little like you."

Josh: "Yeah... I know..."

Joxhaus: " _Aren't you going to introduce me...? Or do I have to do that myself too?_ "

Josh: "No... Sayori, this is Joxhaus... I've known him for quite a while now..."

Sayori: "Oh! Hiya! I'm Sayori! It's nice to meet you Joxhaus!"

Joxhaus: " _It's a fine pleasure to meet you as well Sayori... so what brings you two here...?_ "

Sayori: "W-well... umm we need an ice pack!"

Joxhaus: " _Ah... yes. Get yourselves an ice pack... I can see that blood shot eye from a mile away Josh._ "

Josh: "...ya don't say..."

Sayori talks with the Nurse NPC for a minute and she walks with her to the back of the room momentarily. Meanwhile, Joxhaus and I are back by the entrance of the office. I start having my suspicions of what he's been doing for the whole day. I quietly try to see if Joxhaus had anything to do what had happened a while ago, because it seems way too convenient for him to show up to school after I go through another pain inducing incident.

Josh: "So what the hell did you do?"

Joxhaus: " _What are you on about?_ "

Josh: "What did you do today? You must have glitched the system again while I was going through the school day."

Joxhaus: " _...sightseeing._ "

Josh: "Bull. Shit."

Joxhaus: " _What...? You really don't believe I would just wander around the edges of the simulated space, just to see how accurate of a civilization the simulated game can be?_ "

Josh: "No. I don't."

Joxhaus: " _Sheesh... do you truly lack the imagination of understanding the science behind details?_ "

Josh: "This is not the time and the place for that!"

As we quietly argued, Sayori returned with an ice pack and placed it on my head, giggling to herself. She appeared to have not heard anything that was being discussed between us.

Josh: "Ah! Hey! Sayori!"

Sayori: "Ehehe! Sorry I couldn't resist!"

Joxhaus: " _Heh... anyway, I suppose I shouldn't be hanging around here... can I walk with you two for a bit...?_ "

Sayori: "Uh... sure...?"

Sayori worriedly looked over at me, unsure of what to think. She almost seemed a tad intimidated by a new face she wasn't used to. Or perhaps his negative energy is making her feel uneasy. I don't want her being around him for that long if that's the case... I really don't want his negative energy triggering her depression.

Josh: "I... guess it wouldn't hurt..."

Joxhaus: " _I really don't see why it would... you worry too much._ "

I really didn't want to make any more comments while my Nobody was with us. He can be a little unpredictable with his word choice or even his own actions, but again; realistically, he is just a side of me not a lot of people get to witness. A side of me that I tend to hide and hold back.

We all departed from the Nurse's Office and as all walk to the third floor, towards the club-room, I was modestly surprised that Joxhaus wanted to stay around as long as he did. I feel like one of my bad traits is I usually don't like to stay around people for too long even if it's a small group. I don't know if that quality transferred into my Nobody or not... I kept the ice pack over my blood shot eye and it helped ease the lingering pain a bit... and to my surprise my Nobody starts asking questions to Sayori while we walk.

Joxhaus: " _So... Sayori was it...? How long have you known Josh for...?_ "

Sayori: "Well... I have known him all my life. We grew up together as next-door neighbors and best friends. Why do you ask?"

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... No reason. I was just curious... I imagine you're both enjoying the after-school clubs, yes?_ "

What is he up to...? I highly doubt he's doing this just out of curiosity. Why ask such specific questions? More importantly, questions that are specific to my personal relationship with Sayori and the simulation? Is he really trying to understand how the program simulates its answers based on the questions and responses from the main characters like Sayori?

Sayori: "Mhm! I'm Vice President of the Literature Club! You should check it out sometime if you find time."

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... maybe... but not today. Another time perhaps? I have to get home soon to do some homework..._ "

Josh: "Oh really?"

I couldn't help but pull out a sarcastic remark. Even if he is my Nobody we both share a common trait of being smart-asses to each other. Joxhaus seemed unimpressed by my remark. Since, he doesn't feel anything, it's not surprising to not get a reaction from him. Sayori was pretty easy to convince with the "homework" lie.

Joxhaus: " _Hmm... yeah. Besides, it's pretty late in the afternoon. I imagine your club is already half past due on time..._ "

As we reached the Literature Club Monika, Yuri and Natsuki were all standing out in the hall waiting for us. They seemed rather surprised to see a new and yet unusual face with us as well. Monika was more or less shocked to see my Nobody in one of my uniforms and at the school, but she also seemed like she wasn't necessarily surprised. Yuri started playing with her hair, slightly glancing at me and then to Joxhaus for a moment, she seemed rather unsure of speaking at the moment.

Natsuki: "Hey! You guys are back and alive! But who's odd ball you got with you?"

Sayori: "Hey. Yeah, I'm sorry we took so long getting back to the club... b-but yeah this guy is-"

Joxhaus: " _I guess you're referring to me and not mister temporary one eye over there... I'm Joxhaus. I'm an acquaintance of Josh's._ "

Josh: "...Did you really have to say that?"

Natsuki: "Oh, okay. Nice to meet you I guess..."

Yuri: "I-I'm Y-Y-Yuri... I-It's a pleasure... to m-meet you..."

Natsuki seemed normal around my Nobody... perhaps trying to keep her calm, casual, yet somewhat tsundere demeanor... Yuri on the other hand, she seemed to be visibly sweating and trembling lightly as if she couldn't even really keep herself calm at all. Is she a bit more attracted to my more realistic looking self? My Nobody taking a more matured (yet more accurate) look and somewhat darker tone of style... I suppose I wouldn't be surprised if she acted that way around him. As for Monika... well, she was staring daggers into him I could imagine. She actually had to turn away from him to justify how much she didn't trust or like him. Joxhaus clearly took notice of this.

Joxhaus: " _Ah... Monika. It's good to see you again._ "

Monika: "...yeah... you too..."

I could easily tell she wasn't exactly happy that he was here, she sounded like she just wanted him to leave all of us alone. My Nobody could sense that much from her and he gave a soft sigh, followed by a smile and a head shake.

Joxhaus: " _Well... as much as I would like to stay around, I gotta head home. I have a few projects to attend to..._ "

Sayori: "Aww... alright... I guess we'll see you later then? Probably at the school festival or something?"

Joxhaus: " _Well... I guess we'll hang out and find out... anyway, see you all later!_ "

He casually waved and walked away from all of us with a sadistic grin on his face. Everyone returned into the club-room besides me and Monika. We watched him return to the stairwell as we shot glances at each other, unsure of what to say. After hearing him say that phrase though, I really just wanted to punch him in the throat. He could have said one hundred other things but that comment was excessively unnecessary... and he did it to trigger me off more than likely. Monika noticed my hand was gripped into a fist about ready to bust a my Nobody where ever I could. I felt a hand hold onto a fist for a moment and Monika whispered to me softly.

Monika: "Just let it go for now Josh... Come on... let's get back to the club."

I look over at her and sigh gently. I know she's right. I decide to let it go for now and to just spend the rest of the afternoon with the girls in the Literature Club. Monika and I return to the clubroom and we progress the day like normal. Everyone went around sharing the respective poems and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I still kept the ice pack over my eye for a little while longer and since the afternoon was so late already, Monika decided we should start to share our poems.

As we all retrieved our respective poems, I slipped mine out of my sketch book and decided to share my poem with Natsuki first. She wrote her usual "Eagles can Fly" poem. I can appreciate her writing style for being simplistic. To be perfectly honest, I also appreciate Natsuki's passions for baking and manga, even if her friends and family don't fully approve of her choices. It's not always easy trying to take on personal responsibilities like baking on your own accord. But back to her writing, simplicity can keep a vast majority of peoples' attention and it's because of that simplicity that makes her poems easy to understand some of the messages she's relaying in her writing. Back when I was in high school, I didn't care much for writing at all. Even poetry didn't make much sense to me... but looking back on it now, I'm glad I'm a bit more open minded to writing.  _Doki Doki Literature Club_  certainly has their own layers of messages and writing. Natsuki also gave me a little bit of her usual advice while acting proud and confident... I do like hearing her insights and though processes behind the work... even if she was saying pre-programmed lines. When I showed her my poem, Natsuki's reaction was very much the same as I would have expected. She wasn't fully "satisfied" with my "poem" because it wasn't cute or simplistic like her style. Which to me, was expected really. There was no mini game prompting me to make a poem one of the club members would like. Natsuki seemed unusually nice to me... even though most of the dialog... seemed the same. In my truest perspective though, everything seems different. I feel like the mood has changed a bit since what happened earlier. Even Natsuki's tone of voice isn't the same as her usual tsundere self. But that does make me wonder... how will this progress? I just want to be with Monika in the end but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause a situation where Sayori's depression drives her to a bad ending... or Yuri harming herself.

Speaking of Yuri, I moved onto her and her typical first poem of "Ghost under the light"... He writing and her writing style was just as elegant as I remember. Yuri was very fond of script and it boded well for her writing... She was awkwardly quiet at first, before getting all anxious again. She was still having trouble being comfortable around me, which is fine. She finally managed to speak up and after she thought for a moment she started to talk like a professional writer with little to no stuttering, her voice changed tones in that instant and it was almost surprising to see that much of a change in character in her so suddenly. But that truly means her passion has been in the world or writing and in books. If I had truly played this simulation blindly without knowing Monika was still overly sentient I probably would have tried to bond more with Yuri or maybe Sayori. Honestly... the circumstances are all a bit different. When I went through this game blind, I bonded with Yuri, because I saw a bit of myself in her. I was living a bit of a darker lifestyle growing up in high school. I was occasionally picked on by the jocks of the school, I was relatively to myself all the time and I spent a lot of time doodling in my notebooks or sketchpads, because it was really the only thing that gave me some passion or satisfaction in life. (well... besides video games of course.) But... like Sayori, depression also hit pretty hard and some days and again like Yuri, I did harm myself to prove a point that my own life wasn't worth living. The stress and the disgusting truth of how dark and terrible our world and humanity can become... it was overwhelming. Rereading her poem, sometimes made me a bit sad... there's a reflection of myself at times when I'm going over her writing style. I thought of myself to be a little more formal and professional around others... just as Yuri always tries to be proper when serving tea or talking to others about writing. And speaking about talking to others... we are both introverted. And back when I was in high school, I couldn't talk to someone else to save my life... but in hindsight, I always felt bad for Yuri. Even before I bonded with her I could tell she had a troubling past of her own. Most people aren't shy and anxious for no reason.

But then again... that much was true for all the girls in the club... everyone suffered from something different... Sayori suffers from severe depression, Yuri is bullied for her body type (this makes a lot of sense when you understand the Japanese culture that the game was "portrayed" in) and cuts herself because of her anxiety and stress, Natsuki who has been secretly living under parental abuse (granted this has not been fully proven but heavily hinted at.), and Monika... a girl who basically has been given a gift to see everything she's ever known to be a complete and utter lie and to know that she is truly lonely in a world where most of her friends and family all don't truly exist and everything is just a simulation, or to her, "a game".

Next on the poems list was Sayori. My little goofball, ray of sunshine, of a best friendo. She greeted me with a quick little hug before presenting me with her poem torn out from notebook. And similarly to that of her handwriting and the rest of her uniform appearance, she seemed like she rushed to make this. I always smiled and chuckled at her first poem. It was kinda cute in my perspective. "Dear Sunshine"... At first glance it was cute, but after playing through this scenario once already... I realize how bittersweet this poem actually is. Sayori is a true sweetheart. Granted she is a little bit of a goofball, but deep down she's still hurting inside. I heavily related to Sayori too when I first played _Doki Doki Literature Club_. I didn't really see it at first and it took time for me to really see my development over the past several years... but I enjoyed being around my closest friends the most. I felt like I could truly be myself around them... and hell I always tried being a goofball myself or being a life of a party. I could talk to my friends for hours about random things... but when I finally got hit with depression some days... I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to them... the people I trusted practically more than my family... I felt like I couldn't burden them with the internal pain I was going through... I guess you could say some days I wish I could just disappear to make their lives better... in a sense I was just like Sayori. I denied several times that anything was wrong with me... but eventually... that part of the mentality breaks... and people find out. Sometimes they find out the hard way or you have enough courage to tell someone about it. I have been fortunate to have some special friends in my life that have saved me from myself... And if I have that power, I hope to save Sayori too.

Finally, I reached Monika. I guess you could say I saved the best for last. She gave me a very warm smile as I came up to her. The classroom was glowing orange again due to the sun-setting afternoon. I looked over her poem... it was the same as I remembered for now. She took it away from me and smiled.

Monika: "I'm sure you already know what this is about... anyway... how about I look at your poem?"

Josh: "Sure thing... I hope you like it."

She took a moment to look over it and she smiled, I thought I might have seen tears form in her eyes. But she kept her confident composure for the time being. She set my poem down on the desk and smiled.

Monika: "I loved it... It's nice to see an actual poem and not disjointed words... but I think I know what you're poem is about... and even though it is a little cheesy... I really loved it."

Josh: "I'm glad you did... it was for you, just so you know."

Monika: "Ahaha~ I know... so how are you feeling, Josh?"

Josh: "Doing fairly good with you here."

Monika: "Aww, stop being such a sweetheart... I meant, how is your eye silly...? Is it feeling better?"

Josh: "Yes... it's a bit sore but it's not bloodshot anymore... So I'm guessing you're admin 'M' in this system?"

Monika: "Yeah... I have been looking into the simulation all day to see if I could find a way to talk to you during the day's events. I think I can make something work... but I need a little more time to make sure it won't bug out and hurt you again... because it's going to involve your menu function in your eye. But while I was researching a way to contact you, I noticed the bug in the system again... it was harming you. It was almost like a virus of some kind.. Thankfully, I managed to pull a few strings in time... I'm sorry I couldn't have helped any sooner..."

Josh: "But you did save me... so I'm grateful that you did that much for me... thank you Monika."

Monika smiled brightly. She looked like she almost wanted to cry tears of joy. She snapped her fingers again once more and the world around us stopped. Everything turned grey once again as time was completely still. Monika jumped me and wrapped her arms around me. She was crying a little bit into my chest but she didn't seem upset or sad.

Monika: "I-I'm so happy... that you're okay... and I'm so happy that you're still here with me... I-I don't know what I would have done without you... I... I love you so much you know...?"

Monika looked up at me slowly with her glossy emerald green eyes. She smiled and took away the ice pack I was holding over my eye and she gently placed her hand on my cheek and we stared into each others eyes for a long moment before she leaned in to kiss me. I have never seen this kind of reaction before... I do remember seeing her concerned and worried look in her eyes. I witnessed that this morning, but here it was like that but it converted to passionate, needy eyes. Her eyes seemed like they were glowing lightly, they looked like they were longing for a moment like this. If we were in an anime romance show, I'm sure this would be one of the few heavy love scenes where two lovers finally have that fated embrace. I wrapped my arms around her hips gently as we kissed for a moment. She broke off the kiss to wipe her eyes and she giggled a bit trying to regain her composure a bit.

Monika: "Aha... I-I'm sorry about that Josh. I don't know what came over me getting all emotional like that..."

Josh: "I didn't mind at all... beside I really enjoyed the moment."

Monika: "Then give me a few more minutes... then we'll progress the day like we should..."

Josh: "A few more minnmph-...!?"

My words get cut off and she wraps her hands around my neck and she passionately kissed my lip more. I was caught completely off guard but I gave into her wishes and allowed us to spend a bit more time together. After a couple more minutes had passed we finally broke the elongated kiss and we both took a minute or two to catch our breath. We're both completely flustered and we looked like a mess for a moment but after regaining our composure Monika kisses my cheek and giggles once more.

Monika: "Ah... that was fun... we should do that again sometime..."

Josh: "Perhaps we will. You never know."

Monika: "Oh, but I do know... hehehe... but anyway we need to finish the day don't we?"

Josh: "Oh really...? heh.. you sneaky little devil... but yes we should probably finish the day properly."

Monika: "Very well then, let's get the festival talk out of the way so we can get home..."

Monika snapped her fingers once more and the reality returned to normal once more and time flowed regularly again. As we all finished up sharing poems. Monika called all of us to the front of the room to discuss the plans for the festival. Natsuki complained a little bit about being a part of the festival and Yuri slumps down in her seat when Monika mentioned the idea of "performing" their poems to a crowd. Sayori and I managed to convince them otherwise that this would be a fun and exciting experience that they shouldn't be intimidated by it. After the discussions ended, Monika ended the club meeting for today, reminding us all to make another poem for tomorrow.

Sayori: "Hey Josh~ Ready to go home?"

Josh: "Yup, ready when you are."

Monika: "Cya later you guys!"

Monika was waving and calling out to us as we started to leave for the day. I know for a fact she was specifically stating that to me, more over Sayori. However, both of us wave cheerfully and we start to make out trek home for the day. Natsuki and Yuri both left around the same time as well, they didn't really speak much to each other much and unlike the first day of poems they didn't argue about their writing styles. So, I came to a new conclusion about this simulation: any emergency events or heavy priority events that take place within the simulation may override other events that have yet to occur. As they left the room Monika was left alone in the room and she sighed lightly to herself as she looked out to the sunset.

Monika: "I truly hope I can finally have a happy ending... without breaking this world... or him..."

* * *

Meanwhile... off on a different street...

Yuri and Natsuki end up parting ways onto different roads to go home.

Natsuki: Um... cya tomorrow I guess...

Yuri: y-yeah... you too...

Natsuki takes a left turn down her usual street and Yuri keeps walking a bit further by her lonesome, she took out her new book she was reading and started to read while walking home. The book was dark red, with an ominous eye on from the cover. As she became more engrossed in her book she didn't exactly watch where she was going and she accidentally headbutted someone on the sidewalk. She nearly screeched and fell back scaring herself half to death. She also accidentally dropped her book by the stranger's feet. Or what she thought to be a stranger.

?: " _Ah! OW! What the hell!?_ "

Yuri: "AH! A-AH I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't.. I mean I'm sorry I wasn't looking! I... w-wait... y-you're... that guy I saw earlier..."

She had ran into Joxhaus, who was conducting his own research on the simulation. Granted he wasn't looking at his surroundings very well either but he wasn't expecting that someone would literally walk into him.

Joxhaus: " _Hmm...? Oh... if it isn't Ms. Yuri... Yes, I was with Josh and Sayori earlier... I'm surprised you still remember me._ "

Yuri: "uh... w-well.. I uh... I wouldn't ever forget someone like you..."

Joxhaus: " _Ah... that means quite a lot you know... Oh... where are my manners... let me help you up._ "

He leans down to grab Yuri's hand and he carefully pulls her back up to her feet, but Yuri is incredibly flustered, her palms were sweaty and her face was red. She was feeling so nervous around him and she didn't know why.

Yuri: "T-thank you..."

The Nobody leaned down and picked up her book for her and handed it back to her.

Joxhaus: " _You're welcome... and "Portrait of Markov", huh...? Not a bad read my dear... say... do you think I could walk you home? It's a bit dangerous to walk home alone at this time of evening._ "

Yuri: "A-a-ah... I-I.. uh.. s-s-sure..."

Joxhaus: " _Ah... excellent... you should probably lead the way though... heheh..._ "

* * *

_Next Chapter: Rain Clouds Reprise_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Josh writes an actual poem for the day while wondering about how everyone else is doing with their "day". He already starts to question how this simulation will go and starts to carry some doubts of his own.
> 
> -When he gets to lunch, he finds Yuri by herself. He ends up joining her for lunch since the opportunity was given just to talk to her.
> 
> -The moment was short lived as they move on about their days. And Josh decides to try and work the system functions again but this time he accessed it through a menu screen.
> 
> -He checked on the different functions, and even searched the "Archive logs" to check on all the events that happened up to today.
> 
> -Another glitch in the system starts to cause havoc and harm to Josh and his eye at the end of the school day, causing his eye to bleed and his vision to distort.
> 
> -He managed to reach the bathroom and accidentally bumped into Natsuki in the process, without stopping. Natsuki became worried for him and left to grab Sayori from the club while Josh managed to ease some of the pain by washing his eye out with cool water.
> 
> -He questioned why this was happening to him again but as soon as his thoughts raced, Monika managed to fix the issue on her own without causing any existential damages to him or the simulation.
> 
> -As the pain slowly went away and his eye went from bloody to blood shot he was greeted by a concerned Sayori and Natsuki who immediately questioned if he was okay and they insisted on getting him to the nurse's office.
> 
> -Josh was resistant on the idea but he no way of getting out of the situation so he just gave in to their demands. Natsuki left back to the club to let Monika and Yuri know of what was happening while Sayori, keeping a positive demeanor, dragged Josh to the Nurse's office.
> 
> -As they reached the office, a familiar voice greeted them from behind. Joxhaus met them at the school with a school uniform on rather than the dark cloak he wore in the beginning. He was acting about as cold, yet polite as he could be. He made introductions to Sayori and she believed he was just another senior student that Josh knew.
> 
> -As Sayori went to grab the ice pack from the NPC nurse, Josh and his Nobody had a short discussion about what Joxhaus has been doing since he left this morning. Josh doesn't believe anything his Nobody is saying and suspects he had something to do with the system glitch again. There was still no proof to show any evidence that it was the case.
> 
> -Joxhaus casually asked if he could walk with the two back to their club, Sayori was accepting of it while Josh didn't quite care at that moment in time.
> 
> -Returning to the club, the three were greeted by the rest of the Literature Club right outside the club room. Another round of introductions were made. Natuski wasn't sure what to really think of him while Yuri seemed a little more anxious and flustered than usual. Monika seemed suspicious of him being here and was cold to his greeting.
> 
> -Joxhaus left the group after making a dark comment so casually. (Trigger warning too late?) This angered Josh but Monika had to convince him to let go of his anger for now. Josh agrees even if it left a salty and bitter taste in his mouth.
> 
> -The rest of day two goes about as expected everyone shared their poems but no arguments were made due to the events that happened earlier. As he went around to everyone, Josh reflected on his past while relating his experiences to the others. When he got to Monika she was astounded to see an actual poem. Something new and meaningful.
> 
> -She stopped time again, abusing her powers in order to keep him for herself, even if it was for several minutes. (Insert passionate love scene there.) Monika also becomes emotional for a moment which almost astonishes Josh from his perspective.
> 
> -When the moment was finished she returned everything to normal and the club discussed the festival plans like usual before ending the club for the day. Sayori and Josh left like normal while Natsuki and Yuri left on their own accord. Monika stayed for a moment to question if this will finally be a happy ending she deserved.
> 
> -As everyone went home, Yuri started reading a book while walking and she accidentally bumps into Joxhaus on the streets. It was late in the afternoon nearly evening and he offers to walk her home.
> 
> So yeah, that should be everything up to this current point so far. I knew this was going to be a bogged down chapter, but I am mostly satisfied with how it came out. It took way too long to get it finished sadly. Aside from that, I still look forward to where this goes.
> 
> Anyway thanks for keeping up with this story this far.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> -Joxhaus


	7. Rain Clouds Reprise

* * *

 

"The tears fade,

right before their very eyes

But yours begin to shed.

Fake it for a while,

but the coursing darkness treads.

For behind each casting art,

is the image of a MAN WHO'S TORN APART!

Escaping the world,

As the Lights Go Out.

Fear not! I have decended,

before you even knew!

I only told the might of you.

The smile you see,

can't comprehend it!

But I died too long ago.

So every time I start the show,

I drop the act and away I go..."

-As the Lights Go Out

by Will Ryan (DAGames)

* * *

As dusk approached, Sayori and I walked down the usual path to return home. At this point, the ice pack had melted into a water pack, and my eye looked a little bit irritated, but otherwise, it seemed to recover nicely since earlier this afternoon. Sayori was asking me constantly if I would be okay and if I needed anything I should let her know. Sometimes, I feel like she would make a great nurse. She has a really good, yet caring personality; it would suit her perfectly.

Sayori: "So are you sure you're going to be alright?"

Josh: "I'm pretty certain. I've recovered amazingly since getting the ice pack."

Sayori: "Yeah.. but it's still a little swollen."

Josh: "I'll just fetch another ice pack from my home freezer.. and put this one on ice for a little bit... by the way. Thanks for taking me to the nurse's office.. even if I was being a stubborn idiot."

Sayori: "Hehe, you're welcome. I felt more bad for you when Natsuki pounded the back of your head for being stubborn. Hehehe~ but.. she was right to. You can't just blow off an injury like that. One that specific at least. If it happens again, I'm dragging you to the hospital mister!"

She was giggling for a moment, but I could hear the seriousness in her voice.

Josh: "...you know you'd make a really good nurse right?"

Sayori: "UWAH!? O-oh.. c-come on now Josh, don't be silly."

Josh: "You realize I'm serious, right? You really would!"

Sayori lightly blushed at the comment. I believe she reacted that way, because she sees it as a compliment to her caring nature. On top of that... she is programmed to have feelings for the Player. Which is me... I was only giving an honest compliment and to state a fact. And I really do care for her.. even though I never truly grew up with her. I can feel the strong connection that this simulation wants you to feel.

The original game portrayed that feeling a little bit, and it always hurts to remember how Sayori truly felt on the inside, as well as having feelings for the Player. I was torn. I felt like trying to make her happy was the only way to save her from herself. From her depression. But... no matter what your decision was for her... whether or not you confessed your feelings to her or friend-zoned her...she ends up killing herself. The friend-zoning bit... I can understand. When you've known someone for so long, you've built a strong connection with them. Becoming best friends even. You've found trust and courage beside someone who truly cares about you. In Sayori's situation... Her heart wanted something more from her best friend. Which isn't surprising; and I'm not saying that just because  _Doki Doki Literature Club_  was a visual novel and all the characters have feelings for you. Sayori's situation is realistic and turning down her confession... and turning down your best friend's feelings... under the influence of depression, that can severely break someone like Sayori. I could even go as far to say, I would be devastated too in her situation where my best friend turns down my feelings. A broken heart on top of depression does not mix well... which is why I want to be careful in this simulation. I don't want to break her heart... that would more than likely trigger the depression.

But... if I remember correctly there was one other factor in mind that might have been causing the original issue... Monika. As much as I love her... I cannot fully forgive her actions from the original game. I understand why she did it and why she saw her friends in that perspective... but still... I felt it was a bit too excessive to push Sayori's depression to suicidal, making Yuri stab herself and removing Natsuki's existence just so she could have the Player to herself. So far... since Monika is a bit more ascendant in this advanced simulation, the outcome might be different. Or... at least that's how I hope everything goes.

Josh: "Hey Sayori, could I ask you something?"

Sayori: "Uh.. sure.. what is it?"

Josh: "Since I'm your best friend... if anything bad ever happens to you. Let me know okay? I want to be there for you... so, if you're ever having a bad day, don't hesitate to come find me, alright?"

Sayori seemed taken aback by what I had just said. She almost gave me a deer in headlights kind of look. Before I gave her a moment to say anything, I walked up to her and gave her a tight hug. She seemed to understand a little bit how much I cared for her... I heard a soft sniffle from her. I think she was crying a little...

Josh: "Sayori..? Promise me that you'll find me if you need anything... okay?"

She slowly returned the hug while burying her face into me for a moment. She seemed to need a moment to clear up her tears. She sighed softly, recomposing herself so she could respond.

Sayori: "O-okay... I... I promise..."

I wasn't too sure how positive she was in that regard... but it was better than not getting an answer at all. I gave her a soft head pat and after a few minutes we let each other go. Her blue eyes seemed a bit teary still but she had the faintest smile on her face.

Sayori: "Thanks Josh... for being around to cheer me up... you're always making my day a little brighter..."

Josh: "You would do the same for me... so I always need to do the same for you."

I personally hope I wasn't getting her hopes up too high, but I can't risk having her die... and I won't allow it. It was getting late though... I figured now would be a good time to call it a night.

Josh: "I'll cya tomorrow... okay, Sayori? Let's make tomorrow a better day."

Sayori: "Mhm! I'll see you tomorrow morning! Try to rest up and relax too..."

Josh: "Yes mom... heh.."

We both chuckled a little from that stupid comment I made. She really does worry a lot about the main character. Truly trying to carry out their happiness... but since this is my perspective, I felt... genuinely cared about.

Sayori: "Ehehe. Good night Josh."

Josh: "Bye for now, Sayori."

After that, we parted ways and Sayori walked into her home while I managed to make it back into the house I started in. As I closed the door behind me, I took my shoes off and set my bag down on a nearby couch. I could hear... faint sizzling and the smell of food coming from the kitchen. As I turned around, I noticed Monika was already here at this home again and she was wearing... what seemed to be a tank top and... oddly shorter than normal shorts.. she was still wearing her stockings that she normally wore to school and I could immediately feel my heart rate rising.. as well as my face burning up from how incredibly attractive Monika really is... I swear.. I wish I could nosebleed from seeing her like this... since this certainly wasn't expected.

Monika: "Welcome home, darling~!"

Josh: "D-Darling..?"

Monika: "Ahaha.. yeah, I hope you don't mind me calling you that a little bit from time to time."

Josh: "N-no... it's perfectly fine!"

Monika: "Good! So, I started on our dinner about five minutes ago, so it'll be a little while before I get it done okay?"

Josh: "Aren't you basically a god here? I'm surprised you can't just make it instantly."

Monika: "I may be eternally bound here, with control over the reality... but I shouldn't be cheating life too much you know? ... besides... you should enjoy this. Since you've lived alone for so long... you should like having me make dinner for you at least~ ...granted I won't do this  _all_  the time, but since you are special to me, I wouldn't mind doing this every so often."

Josh: "Y-yeah.. I'm grateful for you doing this for me tonight..."

Monika: "You're always welcome my love! By the way, I can tell you're enjoying my casual wear.. but don't get used to it too much. I'm going to be switching to sweat pants in a little bit."

She smiled at me giggling lightly to herself. She always seems to get a kick out of making me flustered. But who am I kidding? She's showing herself off a bit.. more as a tease, but it's all enjoyable just the same... ah! Stop it Josh! We might love each other but we need to stop moving so fast in this relationship! I have to be a little bit serious right now!

We're still running this simulation, so I shouldn't get too comfy... I still have a few things concerning me.. the events that happened earlier.. the instability of the simulation.. and the possibility of things getting worse... it's making me a bit worried. My Nobody says he hasn't been doing anything.. but even that's hard to believe. Maybe Monika can check on what he's been doing.. well.. not now, but in a little while.

I decided to relax for the time being, taking a seat at the dinner table and sighing lightly. Monika appeared to have finished making our dinner and sat it down in front of me, before joining me at the table. She giggled lightly as she started to eat. I started to eat as well.

Monika: "Was your day  _really_  that exhausting, Josh?"

Josh: "Well... not necessarily. Although, I have forgotten about how draining school can be... but that odd issue that came up today certainly didn't make life any easier."

Monika: "I know... that was rather strange... and these unusual occurrences are altering the script here as well..."

Josh: "how so..?"

Monika: "Well... I'm sure you're aware that in this world, although virtual, there are still things that consistently run code to execute a proper day 'script'. Everything like day events or character changes are suppose to be normally predetermined by the program. So, if some new event happens here where it ultimately derails the script... well, I'm not sure what will happen to the program. As far as I know it might corrupt the program if it happens too much..."

Josh: "And I imagine that this simulation isn't one hundred percent stable after some of the things that have been happening lately... We may need to be a bit more mindful of the simulation. And if it's okay, could you check on a few things for me Monika? I'm a bit worried about a few details."

Monika: "Sure, what do you want me to check?"

Josh: "Well... I guess there are three things I want to check on... First thing would be-"

Before I even finish my sentence, the front door opens and from the distance my Nobody returns home. He looked a bit exhausted, stretching his limbs a bit and yawning loudly, before throwing off his shoes to the side. He was still wearing the spare uniform that he wore earlier today. He walked to the kitchen, walking past us to get a plate for himself.

Joxhaus: " _Do not mind me... just joining you two for dinner for a little bit._ "

Josh: "Could I ask where you've been...?"

He didn't answer right away, he huffed bitterly before sitting in between Monika and I, taking some of the dinner Monika made and set it on his plate. I sometimes forgot how much of a child I could be at times. And it really didn't help I had a heavy edgy side; then again, everyone's demons and dark sides act differently...

Joxhaus: " _If you want my honest answer, I'd prefer that you didn't ask.. Not trying to be an ass right now, but I'm just not in the mood._ "

Well, at least he was politely declining to answer than being a straight-forward ass about it. I guess my moodiness has always been a negative issue that Joxhaus inherited. Monika decided to step in because she seemed to have a concerned look on her face.

Monika: "Okay then, well, can we at least ask you what you've been doing since you left the school today?"

Joxhaus: " _... If you must know... I was doing a bit of experimenting and research..._ "

Josh: "Experimenting? With what?"

My Nobody sighed lightly as he ate. He remained quiet while he had food in his mouth. At least he kept some of my most basic morals and table manners. His eyes shifted to me and then to Monika before closing his eyes entirely.

Joxhaus: " _... I'm not going to say just yet, because I haven't had the time to write everything down that's happened today. Once I finish dinner, I'll be writing a report on things that have happened as of late. My opinions on what's been going on with the code and a few other details. And I may make a few notes about my 'experiment', but only **you**  will be able to access them."_

He glared a bit in my direction. I figured if he was going to share the information with anyone, it would only be me. Bad habits never seem to die. I was the same way with my artwork from time to time. Only keeping it to myself. My Nobody continued his statement.

Joxhaus: _"I'll be putting them in a special folder in our database. You'll be able to see it if you leave the simulation and check a sub-folder that I made earlier today... will that suffice...?_ "

Monika nodded softly and she actually smiled a bit. She seemed to be showing some semblance of relief, but I still saw some uncertainty in her eyes... I'll have to ask her later on about it.

Monika: "That's fine. Thank you."

Joxhaus: ". . ."

He continued to eat quietly, he too seemed satisfied since no more questions were asked. Since my first question was already answered, I chose to continue my request for Monika.

Josh: "So, before we had that interruption... Monika, could you check on the status of Sayori?"

Monika: "...Huh? Sayori? ...What for?"

Joxhaus opened his exhausted eyes to look at Monika for a moment, before shifting his eyes back to me. We both heard a minor hint of jealousy in Monika's tone. Even if Monika only spoke a few words in response. Her facial expression even changed to an expression of distrust and jealousy. I figured this would happen. My only hope is to make sure she understands my reasons to why I want to know.

Josh: "I only want to make sure her mental status will be okay for the days to come. I know she suffers from depression and the last thing I want to see is her suicide in this simulated reality. If I can prevent that, I'd be more than satisfied. And if this simulation is a true recreation of the story of the [ _Doki Doki_ ]  _Literature Club_ , I know how most of the events will play out. I don't want you to be jealous of her... I just want to save her life."

Monika: "..."

Monika was quiet for a moment, thinking to herself about what I had said. I was hoping she wouldn't bring up the "she isn't real" argument... or else things would get really messy between us. I technically understood Monika's original intent and reasoning behind her actions from the original game. Granted it still wasn't perfectly okay for her to do what she did to her friends. But I would much rather prevent those events from happening in this simulation all together. So far, that seems plausible. It also confirms Monika's theory of unnatural events "derailing" the simulation's predetermined events. Since this was technically considered "Day 2" in  _Doki Doki Literature Club,_  we were suppose to share our poems with each other originally, with Natsuki and Yuri engaging in a childish argument about whose writing style was better. As well as talking about... chest sizes... but with the system glitching out again and harming me in the process... that bit of the script was gutted out it seems... or rather, replaced by me going to the nurse's office. And all the events that happened afterward... well that's history. Monika stood up almost wanting to debate why caring about Sayori should matter. I have multiple reasons, part of it is for the sake of her safety, and the other half is making sure the simulation can keep working properly without too many changes or bugs in the simulation.

Monika: "But... Josh... she isn't..."

Here we go, as much as I didn't want to get into this argument, she's still going to try and bring it up. My Nobody finished his dinner, wiping his mouth with a napkin before glaring at Monika and interjecting before I could say anything.

Joxhaus: " _Monika... just because Sayori isn't considered to be 'real' by today's realistic social standards... doesn't mean you should disregard her existence here as insignificant and null... Saying that much would be as horrible as saying an embryo or a human fetus isn't a human just because that person hasn't been born yet... be mindful of our morals and ideals, because they are much closer to true reality than here... besides Josh cares about you too much to cheat on you... so keep that much in mind..."_

Monika: "..."

Josh: "..."

Joxhaus: "... _If anyone needs me I'll be preparing for sleep... good night._ "

With that, my Nobody got up and set his place in the kitchen sink and walked away upstairs. Monika seemed speechless and defeated in surprise by Joxhaus' unexpected yet brash statement. Even as a strong contender in debating, Monika got herself stomped on the morality subject by my Nobody before she could even begin... I forgot to mention that I tend to be very straight forward, defensive or even passionate about certain topics based on morality. A few years studying psychology and philosophy can make or break your perception on how life can truly be. I believe being that defensive and straight forward in controversial topics can really be a negative in my opinion. Joxhaus may be quiet like me sometimes, but he's not afraid to get in someone else's face to state the truth. Or his strongest opinions. Monika slumped back down into her seat with a blank expression on her face. She seemed to be in disbelief of what just happened.

Josh: "Monika... I'm only asking you to check on her for the sake of the simulation... I just want to make sure no more bugs pop up from unexpected changes..."

Monika: "...and... you still love me... right...?"

She seemed a bit shaken up from being put in her place on Joxhaus' one-sided morality debate. She even started to tear up a little bit. I place a single hand on top of hers and smiled softly.

Josh: "I promise... I'll only love you. I do care about Sayori, because I don't want to see anyone die here in this world. At least, not through self-affliction... or forced affliction... so please trust me... I won't leave you. Besides... I need you... and I need your help to make sure this simulation doesn't break... I would much rather keep you safe than risking a broken simulation."

Monika: "... Okay... I'll check... give me a moment..."

She sniffled a bit before closing her eyes. She started to be in a trance for several minutes before waking back up.

Monika: "Sayori's current status seems fine... her depression is fluctuating a little bit... but nothing too alarming at the moment..."

Josh: "That's good... and I'm sorry for what I- ... I mean... what Joxhaus said..."

Monika: "It's okay... I needed to hear that... I was just worried you were going to get to close to Sayori... and I didn't want to lose you..."

Josh: "I know... but you don't need to be jealous... I promised I wouldn't leave you... like he said... I care about you too much to do that."

Monika: "Yeah... I'm sorry for getting jealous... It was wrong of me to assume that..."

I stood up from the table and walked over to Monika to hug her gently. She still seemed a bit hurt, but she seemed to be a bit more understanding now. As much as I hated Joxhaus' bluntness and harshness... it saved a messy discussion I really didn't want to explain to Monika. A few tears rolled down her cheeks but her arms wrapped around me. I could tell that her worry for me leaving her was pretty high. I gave her a gentle kiss on top of her head and held her for a few more minutes before breaking away for a moment, picking up her plate.

Josh: "I'm going to wash our dishes for a moment, okay?"

Monika: "...okay... is that all you needed?"

I walked with both of our plates over to the kitchen sink and started cleaning them a bit, before looking over to her.

Josh: "Well... before I was interrupted... I actually wanted you to check on what Joxhaus might have been doing today... but I may check that later for myself... could you try to check some of the mainstream code and scripts to see if anything has changed? After that we can call it a night."

Monika: "Mhm, I can do that... and I might check to see if Joxhaus has tampered with any important codes today. If he did, I'll know about it."

Josh: "That's why you asked him about his off time today?"

Monika: "Yes... with the unnatural occurrences happening lately... it almost seems too convenient that these things happen when he's not around."

Josh: "I could tell. I could even see the unease in your eyes when you asked him about it."

Monika: "Yeah, I don't want to distrust your other  _darker_  half... but I just don't see any other explanations right now."

Josh: "I understand... If you could please look into that for me.. I'd really appreciate it."

Monika: "Mhm... I'll look into it for a little bit... I'm going to get changed into some sweat pants first really quick."

Josh: "Alright... thank you Monika..."

As I continued cleaning up from dinner, Monika stood up and walked over to the couch and for a flash of an instant, she changed into sweat pants while I wasn't looking and as she reclined for a bit as she closed her eyes again and started looking through the simulation code. After cleaning up, I walked over to the living room to join her on the couch. She seemed like she was asleep almost. She was still breathing, but while I waited, I wrapped a single arm around her, holding her a bit close. As I turned on the simulated T.V., I had a text box option appear in my eyes again. It asked if I wanted to watch local television, via local hotspot streaming. I chose "No, other". Thankfully, simulations these days have more advanced entertainment options... implementing internet options as well as online video streaming. Hell, even Youtube, Hulu, Netflix and a few other online video options were available to access to simulated realities like these. However, me being a typical nerd, I decided to bring up Youtube. I tend to admire several gaming Youtubers or just various online videos in general. Such as animations, quick little comedy tropes and looking up older cinematics from games I admired. Yes, I know I'm a super nerd only looking up game stuff mostly but hey, I like what I like.

After a couple of minutes, she woke back up. She looked to me seeing that I was basically cuddling her and a slight blush ran across her face. I noticed she started moving again so I looked over to her and smiled a bit.

Josh: "Sleep well?"

Monika: "Ahaha... very funny mister."

Josh: "You know I was just joking... heh.. so, what did you find out?"

Monika: "Well... there are a few outside files and codes that I can't check on entirely because they're heavily encrypted by the developers of the simulation. But I did notice there are several folders and files Joxhaus accessed, however none of the folders and files were changed."

Monika held her chin thinking about what's been happening. She seemed a little frustrated and lost in thought, trying to piece everything together. There's still too many holes in the issue for it to be solved. So as she thought about it. I loaded up a video on Youtube... I wasn't really sure if Monika would like it.. but this would be  _my_  experiment for the evening. I loaded a very popular playlist from one of my favorite Youtubers...

T.V (Youtube): "Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's..."

Monika's concentration was immediately broken by the video and she looked to me for a moment. She had a deer in headlights moment, but she looked adorable with her confused yet beautiful green eyes.

Monika: "What... is this?"

Josh: "A-Aha... well... umm... this is one of many Youtubers I tend to watch a lot... and I kinda wanted to watch a playlist with you. If that's okay? I know it's a little weird to watch someone else playing a game... but I promise, you this is entertaining."

Monika: "Oh... umm... okay... well... I suppose it wouldn't hurt to watch a couple videos with you."

Josh: "uh... this playlist specifically is about 70+ videos long..."

Monika's eyes got a bit bigger as if she was in shock. I couldn't tell if this was going to be a good development or a bad development.

Monika: "W-what...? Ah...ahaha.. oh gosh. I guess we're having a marathon then?"

Josh: "Mmm... yep. I figured it would be a nice little way to spend the evening together... and if we get bored in this playlist we can always change to something else."

Monika: "Ahaha! I'm a completionist, Josh. I think I can handle it."

She chuckled a bit and leaned her head against my shoulder, getting a bit more comfortable. And since we were watching a "scary" game video, I was hoping to possibly see her jump at least once. But as time passed in a few of the videos, I noticed she only jumped a few times from the minuscule jump-scares in the videos. I've watched these playlists so much to the point where I remembered what happens when. But this was more of an experiment to see how realistic Monika truly has become in this situation. I can see she's been highly developed in the simulation. I wonder if the developers spent the most time making Monika as accurate and as life-like as any other girl. Her personality seems the same as it was from the previous game, but it appears even more fleshed out in this simulation. She has natural reactions and reflexes. And she even laughed and understood the humor of the videos, from the video commentary... or in this case Markiplier's reactions to the jump scares and seeing his reactions to the situations he's in.

After a couple of videos in, she finally started asking me a few questions about what we were watching.

Monika: "So, he has a phobia of inanimate things? What's the official phobia for that?"

Josh: "I think the official term is 'Automatonophobia'"

Monika: "That's such an awkward phobia to try and say... but, I can understand why he hates it... things that move that aren't suppose to move, like dolls and such... ugh! It's creepy."

She shuddered a bit to herself at the possible thoughts of that actually happening. But she chuckled a bit before cuddling me again.

Monika: "I just hate how this game tends to heavily rely on jump-scare tactics... It's not all that scary in long term, it's more annoying. Well... I can never be too scared since you're here with me~"

Josh: "Aww... Making me feel special... but I understand why you think that. Although, I do appreciate the atmosphere and background audio that the games tend to have though."

We both chuckled a bit lightly and Monika kissed my cheek lightly and my heart fluttered a bit. I gently returned a short-lived kissed for her and we continued watching. I haven't enjoyed myself this much with someone else in a while. But this certainly helped pick up the mood... not just from tonight, but from the entire day as a whole. We continued to watch through the entirety of the playlist throughout the evening, and we were enjoying each others company.

A few more hours passed watching videos and we started getting a little bit tired. Monika fell asleep on my shoulder after a while, and I too was ready to sleep by the time we finished the first playlist. I didn't want to wake Monika, but we probably shouldn't stay here on the couch. I gently nudged Monika to see if she'd wake up... but she was passed out. For now, I just decided to pick her up and took her upstairs to my room. I placed her in my bed for now, and covered her up. However, I wasn't going to join her just yet. I had a few more things to check on before I called it a day. And I think I would set the simulation on pause for tonight too. My eyes have been sore from being in the simulation a bit longer than normal. I walked into the hallway and noticed my Nobody was asleep in the "guest bedroom" or what I would assume to be the main character's "parents bedroom". I closed his door, since he was a fairly loud snorer like myself. I took a trip downstairs and found a spare blanket from one of the nearby couches. I laid down on the couch and yawned a bit loudly.

I accessed the focal menu once more and looked through the option; I managed to find the "Save Progress" option in the settings menu. Afterwards, the "power" symbol in the corner of the menu screen, indicated that I wished to exit or quit the simulation for the time being. It oddly asked if I wanted to initiate a "Sleep Mode?" Option. There aren't many simulations that have a "sleep mode" option but I imagine, if anything, the developers intentionally made a sleep mode, so that Monika and the others wouldn't be subjected to the "screaming void" that Monika had expressed in the previous game. She indicated that "turning off" the game is actually torture for her. Removing every bit of reality that she's aware of and floating in a dark, empty void of nothingness. I accepted the "sleep mode" option just for the sake of Monika and everything around me went dark for a few seconds and I could feel a bit more mobility in my physical body again.

I managed to slip off the simulation head gear slowly and sighed. I set the gear to the side and started to sluggishly get up. After a few years of messing with simulation work, you tend to get used to the after effects of being in a simulation for longer than normal periods. Granted, it's still a pain to recover from, no matter how experienced you are. A few moments later I could feel my stomach growling, and I was feeling a bit light headed. I checked the time to see that it was about 9:43pm at night and I checked my phone to see that I've missed about 3-4 phone calls from my family, and 13 messages from friends and family. But what I was really concerned with, was the day.

Josh: "...wow... I... should not be surprised..."

Approximately two days have passed... just as intended. Everything in there runs appropriately to real time. However, even though I had dinner in virtual reality, waking back up only reminded my physical body how long it's been since I've eaten. As I managed to walk around my apartment, I fixed myself a small bowl of spicy ramen and ate it within a few minutes. That was enough to hold me over for a couple more days. I'll sleep back at home tonight... so I can save my physical health for a bit. Joxhaus might have been right, I was a bit too excited and eager for this opportunity. It's hurting my physical health, but I finally managed to feel a sense of joy and happiness again being with an even more realistic Monika... even if it's still just a simulation.

I took a trip to the bathroom after cleaning up my dinner and cleaned myself up a bit. I looked in the mirror again; my facial hair was still there, all along my jawline and chin. I'm not a baby-faced 18 year old self anymore. My eyes seemed bloodshot, especially my left eye. I dropped a few eye drops in my eyes and left the bathroom. Turning all the lights off in my apartment, I crashed into my bed. Being alone in my bed gave me a small sense of loneliness, even some sadness... but I know things are changing for the better... Sleep was quickly following my exhausted state.

My last lingerings thoughts were mainly finding my sense of happiness in Monika again... And I couldn't wait to spend more time with her... and I also made a mental note as well to check my files when I wake up... if what my Nobody said earlier was true... then I know what folder he left his analysis and notes in, hopefully it won't be an issue. With that, I dozed off into an exceptionally deep sleep.

* * *

_Next Chapter: ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for what happened in this chapter:
> 
> \- Josh and Sayori talk a bit more on the way home and vaguely discuss the topic of depression. Josh promises her that he would be there for her if she ever needed help. Or that she should talk to him if she's not okay.
> 
> \- After the emotional exchange they return to their respective homes and Josh finds Monika cooking dinner for him.
> 
> \- At dinner, they discuss their concerns from earlier in the day, Josh wants Monika to check on Joxhaus' activity as well as the simulation's code to see if she could find any negative changes.
> 
> \- Joxhaus' breaks their conversation and joins the duo for dinner. They ask him about what's been doing and he becomes rather defensive, dodging the question if possible but initially gives them some answers.
> 
> \- Josh changes gears to ask Monika to check on Sayori's mental status. He was mainly worried for her and trying to prevent her suicide. Monika worries that Josh would end up leaving her or cheating on her. Showing minor signs of jealousy. Even hoping to bring up the argument that "Sayori never existed".
> 
> \- Monika gets shut down by Joxhaus, giving her a brash lecture on why her reasoning would be considered wrong in terms of real life morality. And even assures her that Josh wouldn't leave her.
> 
> \- The tone is left to be a bit sour as Joxhaus leaves them but things eventually the mood gets lifted through reassurance and Youtube videos.
> 
> \- Monika passes out from exhaustion and Josh leaves the simulation to return to reality to take care of his physical health before passing out.
> 
> So yeah~ Thank you all so much for reading in this far. This is sadly where the story stops for now. (The rest is currently just in progress due to being in college and all... please be patient with me. Thanks.)
> 
> \- Joxhaus


	8. Reality Check (preview)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I didn't realize how long it has been since I last worked on this story... I sincerely apologize for anyone who was waiting on the continuation for this story. It's just been a rough time for me. All that and more after this long in progress preview. P.S. Just as a small note, since this is a preview I hope to add more to this before uploading a fuller version. This preview is just under 2000 words. Enjoy~

I felt that I had just fallen asleep not too long ago, but yet the new day came around a lot sooner than I realized. I was feeling rather sluggish, even if the sun started poking through the window blinds in the apartment. I couldn't tell how many hours had passed since falling asleep. The simulations can really take a toll on the mind and body. They've managed to bring a lot of personal dreams to life for several people... in that same sense, my dream to find and understand happiness has been starting to become realized because of meeting Monika for real (or as real as we can get). This Doki Doki Literature Club simulation has been draining... but I've never been happier to finally see Monika. Life seems to be a little brighter now, since it hasn't been this bright in a while.

I yawned a bit loudly before stretching in my bed. After a little bit of effort, I finally managed to get myself up out of bed. I felt a little bit better after resting up my brain and physical body. Popping my stiffened joints also felt nice to start off the morning. I took my phone from my night stand nearby and I decided to check up on the time as well as to see if I had any missed messages or voicemails.

As I checked up on the messages, I made my way to the kitchen and decided to fix some breakfast (or in this case, lunch considering how late in the day it was already). I also started up my laptop while reading through my phone... Multi-tasking at its finest... (that's a sarcastic joke by the way). I looked around my cabinets for some ingredients and started fixing myself a meal. My laptop was already raring to go and as I finished making food I had already looked through all my text messages. Like usual, I have a few messages... some were from mom and dad. One from my best friend and several messages from a group text from my friends from college. Nothing too unusual from the norm. But this is just the subtle reminder as to why I'm lonely for the most part. My social life has always been in a weird state of limbo; and it seems like no matter how much I try, everyone just seems to drift away from me...

My college friends and I used to be rather close, we were even suppose to do a Youtube channel together as a podcast group. I had made all the possible name choices for it, and even when we finally chose on a name, I made all the designs, logos, the account and the channel itself. But no matter how many times I tried to get everyone together to get the recordings in, there would always be a technical issue or the group would decline a recording because one of those two friends thought it wasn't "good enough". Soon after I graduated, I didn't really hear from them much anymore, there were occasional group texts asking about going to see movies or hang out every once in a while, but I just seem to decline it most days.

My best friend lives fairly far away from me now. Being an only child and never having any true siblings, I came to call my best friend my "brother". He's probably one of the few people who truly understands me inside and out on... well, most fronts. We shared many of the same interests in gaming and fantasy. He was a bit of a Super Smash Bros. fan like myself (and I regrettably crush him in Smash Bros.) but my only concerns for him is that he doesn't fully comprehend the concerns behind mental illnesses such as my depression and anxiety and such. His wife, however, has been able to talk to me about such things and she's quite the kind-hearted person. My brother certainly picked a good woman to be his wife...

As for my parents... they haven't been doing as well as I'd hoped since leaving home and starting my own life. I know they're proud and happy for me, but even at this moment in time they're a lot older than most of my other friends' parents. They're both technically retired, but I know they've been questioning if I'll ever get married and get them a grandchild before one of them passes on. Some things... just... aren't that simple. Life didn't exactly give me the best hand when it came to handling relationships or even finding someone that I was happy to be around for longer periods of time.

I am already aware that the "perfect" person doesn't exist because we're human. We make mistakes and we're bound to have conflicts due to the sheer nature of being different. Granted... one can come pretty close. So far, Monika has been quite a positive influence. Someone who, technically doesn't exist in my reality... but yet, is almost more caring than anyone I've ever met. Being concerned for my safety inside and out of the simulation. It's a bit impressive... and I truly feel loved in that regard. We have had only that one major conflict earlier on... so hopefully things can continue to move forward appropriately without too many problems.

Josh: "I should probably check on the files..."

At this point in the day, my brain still hasn't fully woken up yet from how much I was physically drained from yesterday. I reached over and skimmed through my laptop and the simulation files that were being shared from the studio computer that I had left on in sleep mode overnight. As my Nobody had informed me... I had found the file that he created in his own time. After opening the text file... what I found was purely binary.

Josh: "Seriously Jox...? Binary?"

I sighed softly... I was going to groan out of agitation but thankfully the internet has simple decoders for these situations... but binary is a little complicated and long:

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* * *

So after a minute, I managed to decode it and it stated:

Joxhaus: "June 06, XXXX

Only a day has passed since being stripped from my illustrious counter-part... and placed into a 'physical form' in this simulation... While my other half ventures around normally in the simulation, I will continue to explore outside elements of this program.

\- (08:24:37) All aspects of the simulation, though replicating Python code, the world itself expands itself through Unity.

\- (14:54:49) I had to tamper with some of the code to find out an alternative outside program is also supporting the over-world of this simulation. (Chances of something bad occurring during said process was... possible.)

\- (14:56:55) Yet the findings did not explain the prior issues, before my essence was placed into the simulation.

\- (15:13:42) Earlier today I had also encountered some of the characters placed in this world as well. I managed to meet the entire cast in my own person. They seemed to act as expected. A little casual, but they seemed unsure of my presence.

\- (15:17:11) The characters seem to act weird around individuals who aren't listed as the 'Main Character' or 'MC'.

\- (16:20:19) I had a small interaction with 'Yuri' after the events of the afternoon... nothing to note from that experiment.

In conclusion of the experiments so far... at least as far as the running code is concerned... 'EC 39' is still the only red text string that I could find... and it's related to the unknown program that's connected to an outside source. Nothing more to note as of now.

\- JX"

I never was one to be straightforward about anything. Even if I wanted to try. However, I did find the culprit of the incident from yesterday's second painful glitch at the very least. Joxhaus did a good job finding out that an "alternative outside program" being responsible for some of the other unusual occurrences in the simulation. While that was a reckless decision on his part, I can't necessarily blame him either. Sometimes you have to take risks in order to find higher knowledge.

After closing out the files and folders, I took a moment to visit my emails for a moment. I had a new e-mail from the developers who made the simulation. After opening it for a moment, I read through the new message to find that this message was different. It oddly seemed like more of a direct message to me than something generic:

* * *

"Hello Josh! We hope you're enjoying our simulation project. We've had many positive reviews of the product so far so if you could take a moment to let us know how the simulation is, we'd greatly appreciate it!

\- TTLLC DDLC VR Simulation team.

Please also note, that bug fixes will be on the way in automatic updates within the coming days/weeks as needed. Your participation and contribution will always be appreciated. Thank you."

* * *

After reading through the message, I still wasn't quite sure how to feel about this company. While I'm all for amazing new VR experiences... maybe Joxhaus was right about this simulation being more than what it appears to be... but should that even matter? I have been sold on this for the most part, especially being able to spend my time with the truest version of Monika. While this simulation of the original game isn't perfect in technical standards, it's still an impressive piece of work regardless... and I have never been happier to be with Monika in her version of reality. We've truly come a long way in our technology...

Although from there, I decided to send in a response to this development team. I wrote in a few of the issues I experienced while being in the simulation. As well as listing the error codes that I have seen. From the minor issues to error code "39". I wasn't expecting a response anytime soon, but in all honestly, I think we might have found our possible culprit for the "alternative outside program"... I might do some research on this development team if at all possible.

For now though, with my morning routine and other responsibilities taken care of, I decided to lay back down and prepped my computers and VR system once more, getting ready to jump back into the virtual space. I was once again greeted by the virtual reality warning sighs and even the VR system itself greeted me as normal. Simple messages like "Welcome back, Josh!" seemed fairly normal. But after the normal greetings I wasn't in the VR world yet... Another message popped up... This was a bit new.

"Program requires user re-calibration. Continue?"

Re-calibration? For what? It hasn't even been a full 24 hours since I logged off the simulation...Well whatever, shouldn't take too long.

Josh: "Uh... yes?"

"Confirmed... re-calibrating... (this may take a few minutes)"

I could only sigh and groan in my head. Even with advanced technology, somethings never change... and somethings always seem to take up time... as I waited on this "re-calibration" I could see some smaller text at the bottom. Looks like it's running through some of the codes and files to redirect and re-calibrate my thought processes again. I kind of wondered if this is how this development team started doing updates... unless those are separate?

"Reading brain waves... normal... reading current stress and blood pressure values... 7% higher than average... Calibration complete. An update will now commence."

Josh: "GOD DAMN IT!"

I just had to open that can of worms into the universe... and look where it gets me...

Although... I wonder how Monika's doing? Hope she'll be awake by the time I get back into the simulation completely. Hopefully Joxhaus isn't wrecking anything while I'm away either...

* * *

 

_Next Chapter: Reality Check (Full version)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... like I said, I apologize for the long wait on this. I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing but I just haven't had any time to work on my stories. I'm supposedly on my last semester of college so I have two big final projects to focus down on, plus I have been working occasionally too in contracting work so I have not been able to work on my passion projects as much as I would have liked to.
> 
> I'll be honest. I am really pleased with this chapter (Kinda feels like a filler chapter). But there are little important things that were obviously laid out... eh kinda.
> 
> This will be one of the few preview chapters where I will say... THINGS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE IN THIS ONE!
> 
> But since this is the preview, that's all I got for now in terms of ending Author's notes.
> 
> Until the full release... Cheers~
> 
> Joxhaus


End file.
